That Time in My Life I Believed I Was an Alcoholic

I’ll never forget moving to California in my early 20s and trying to “figure things out.”

I moved in with a couple of my buddies and slept on the floor for a couple of months.

It was a very tough period in my life.

I don’t think a day went by where I didn’t drink to relieve my stress.

You see, I didn’t graduate college happy.

I graduated upset because I knew the party was over.  The thought of having to rely on myself and “find something” really freaked me out.

I thought going to California would help.  It didn’t.

In fact it just made things worse.  The shock of having an internship, commuting to work, being in the “real world” was simply too much for me.

Long story short, I had what many would consider to be a nervous breakdown and I quickly drove home back to NY to live with my parents.

In the ensuing months I did plenty of self reflection trying to ascertain what my underlying issues were.

At one point I even decided to go to a couple of AA meetings.

I remember being there, getting up in front of the crowd and saying I was an alcoholic.

When I look at back on that time I realize that I wasn’t an alcoholic, but that doesn’t matter.

What mattered is that in that moment I felt relief.  I felt like I could move on and heal.

You see, I don’t care if it’s religion, yoga, or a new diet in your life, if it gives you clarity and the ability to be the best version of yourself, I’m all for it.

So for me, at that time, what I most related to was alcoholism.  And even though I wasn’t an alcoholic in technical terms, this admission was the start of getting better.

It was at this point I began to see a therapist and go down a path that would eventually lead me to where I am now, which is a great place.

Pay attention to how you feel.  What you feel is REAL, even if it doesn’t meet societal and academic standards.

When you can accept this about yourself, you’re ready to take action.

When you take action, the improvement starts.

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