Sometimes I Pee Sitting Down and I Have Zero Shame About It

I debated about writing this post or not but then I realized that I recently talked about not being ashamed that I like watching porn, so at this point I’d say all bets are off. And you might be wondering why in God’s name this guy who has a website that’s focused on motivational and productivity topics would be talking about his bathroom habits.  Those of you that know me understand that there’s always a method to my madness and always a lesson to be learned.   So here goes:

I don’t remember how many years ago I started doing this but I think ever since I started going to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would prefer to sit down to pee instead of standing up.  I guess after the age of around 30 the bladder starts to weaken, and now that I’m 41 it’s inevitable I’m always going to have at least one stop to the bathroom in the middle of the night.  When this all began I used to pee standing up but that required me to put a light on and pee while completely delirious from my awoken slumber.

It was annoying to say the least.  Sometimes I’d miss the bowl.  Sometimes the light ruined my sleeping and I couldn’t get back to sleep.  All in all it was a crappy (no pun intended) experience.  Being awakened in the middle of the night is bad enough but so is having to aim into a toilet bowl while standing up practically unconscious.  I decided enough was enough and just plopped myself down on the bowl and peed sitting down.

It was glorious.  It was so easy.  It was such a simple solution.  Why hadn’t I done this before?  It’s not like I never peed sitting down before.  When I began doing this I was able to get right back to bed.  I no longer missed the toilet bowl and most importantly, my sleeping patterns weren’t interrupted (P.S. I’m insane about getting good sleep).

From that point forward I’ve never peed standing up in the middle of the night again.  In fact I’ve extended my sitting down urination times to include during the day as well.  I don’t always do it but sometimes if I’m tired and lazy I just sit down instead of stand up.

And for God’s sake why am I telling you all of this?  Because there are lessons to be learned. I swear.

Lesson #1: Don’t be ashamed to be comfortable

I learned a long time ago that as masculine as I may be in some instances, the last thing I ever need to be is too proud at the sacrifice of my comfort.   If I like listening to the song “Heaven is a Place on Earth” by Belinda Carlisle on full blast in the middle of a traffic jam in the seediest town in America, then that’s what I’m gonna do.  I can be just as manly as any other man who pees standing up.  The sign of a man isn’t how tough he is.  It’s how comfortable he is in his own skin.  And the more he can accept that comfort the better off he’ll be.  This isn’t just about peeing sitting down.  This is me saying that if I can get a little more comfort in life and not have to expense it for any of my values, I’m gonna do it.  And I think all of us should.  Peeing sitting down is just a tiny reminder of this.

Lesson #2: Never stop trying to improve efficiency

There’s actually some science behind my reasoning for peeing sitting down: efficiency.   Peeing sitting down isn’t necessarily more efficient than peeing standing up.  In fact it takes a bit more effort.  But all of us know that conservation of energy is far better achieved sitting down than standing up.  If I’m to maximize my efficiency and energy I’m going to want my standing up activities to count.  Let’s say I sit down to pee 3 times a day.  That’s a good 3-5 minutes of extra rest per day.   We’re talking nearly a half an hour of rest per week.  That equates to over 26 hours of rest per year.  That’s over an entire day of conserving my energy for times that would probably be way better off standing.  Things like working out.  Things like playing with my kids, etc etc.

See that folks?  There’s always a method to my madness.  Am I saying you need to run out and start peeing sitting down?  No.  But the more of these little efficiency lessons we can learn the better.

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