I’ve been frustrated for this entire month. Despite the progress I’ve made I’m still frustrated. I can’t help it. It’s in my DNA. Let me explain to you exactly where this is all coming from. Starting back in January of 2020, I decided to see if I could build up my following on Linkedin. It all started as something as a kind of “let’s see if I can do it” project. I wanted to see if I could get to 100K followers just to see if I could. No real end goal other than that. Fast forward to today and it’s evolved into updating this website everyday, posting to Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, hiring a PR Firm, deciding on what to include in a book I’m writing, and deciding on content for a complete redesign to this site. Oh and by the way I’ve spent quite a few bucks on all of this so far.
Why am I doing all of this? The overarching goal is to be speaking in front of large crowds and developing a large personal brand. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and hadn’t taken it seriously until now. My theory behind this is that my websites may not last forever but a personal brand can. If you can figure out how to create an income stream from being you and developing a following, that income stream should last forever if that following is nurtured and continues to pay attention to you. It’s kind of a hedge on my current business of owning a number of websites. I’m a worrier so I always like to try and build up as many income streams as I can. It’s just something I’ve accepted about myself.
But why am I frustrated? Because nothing’s really happening yet, even though it has. You see, in my mind nothing’s happened yet because I haven’t received a single speaking gig and my following isn’t growing as fast as I’d like it to. And yet when I started all of this I had a goal of making an additional full-time living by the age of 45. I’m currently 41. Four years is more than enough time to get this thing going into high gear.
Still though, here I sit, 8 months in on Linkedin and literally only a month in working with the PR firm and updating all my social media sites, with “nothing” to show for it. Even as I write this I’m kind of laughing a little on the inside. Why? Because here’s the reality:
- In 8 months, my Linkedin following has grown from under 3K to 22K followers.
- In 8 months I’ve created over 200 videos that I’ve posted to Linkedin.
- In the last month I’ve posted a piece of content on this site every single day.
- In the last month I now know that I need to revamp this website.
- In the last month I now know that publishing a book can really help me with my overall goal of speaking to huge crowds.
- Without the PR firm guiding me I’d be way less further into materializing this thing than I realize
Do I have measurable results right now? Not really. And that’s what pisses me off. There’s zero instant gratification and I can get into ruts for weeks because of this. It’s a problem many of us have and in these moments I know it’s critical to take a step back and actually look at the progress.
My website business took 13 years
Here I am expecting to speak in front of huge crowds, make a full-time living, and be on top of the world within 30 days when my own business has been 13 years in the making. It wasn’t until literally years 12 and 13 that I finally had the courage to slow down (even though I could have done that longer ago).
It took over a decade to get to the point where my sites require way less maintenance and I can hand things off to other people. It took over a decade to where I created enough time and money for myself that I could truly feel flexible and have most any opportunity I choose to pursue.
I have an amazing family, a house nicer than I could have ever hoped for, more money than I ever thought I’d earn, and more time than I ever thought imaginable.
And yet here I am, frustrated and pissed because of a lack of “success” that I feel I should have by now in an endeavor I’ve barely begun.
Slow progress is progress, and it’s real progress – don’t mess with it
Every single bone in my body is telling me to quit trying to pursue a personal brand. Seriously. I’m at a point where I feel frustration with the PR firm for not doing their job (even though they are). I’m at a point where I feel like quitting Linkedin because it’s just not working in the way I want it to (even though it is). I’m at a point where I want to quit Instagram and Twitter because my followings on there are growing at a snail’s pace. And yet here I am, barely into my 4-5 year plan on all of this. Here I am, probably further along than I realize, but I’m still pissed off. Here I am, a tiny speck of time in compared to my primary business which took literally 300 times as long to come to fruition. Here I am, bitching, whining, and expecting the whole world to come to me in an instant.
Shame on me. Shame on me.
What I do know is that I cannot stop. I must continue doing what I’m doing each day and never stop until I reach my goal. Only then can I relax. Only then can I not feel frustrated.
It’s just good to vent about it once in a while.
Anyone else ever feel like this?