Obvious Signs This Guy Will Never Ever Be Funny

62nd Annual BMI Pop Awards - Show

Most of you guys out there reading this are between 18-40 years old and single.  At least that’s what my demographics are saying.  So I decided to come up with five cardinal rules that will alert you to another one of your species having absolutely zero sense of humor.  It’s a big time saver if you’re looking for more male buddies to add to your group.  Here are five sure signs a guy just isn’t and never will be funny.

1. He uses OMG!!! in Emails

OK, I don’t care if you’re straight, bi, gay, whatever.  If you’re human you have to agree with this.   Have you ever met a male in your life that used the term OMG!!! (and I stress the exclamation points) and actually meant it, that was funny?  I mean I can see using OMG in a way that would make fun of people that could generate a laugh but having that in your daily repertoire will not fly in my book.

2. He dyes his hair blond with the intention of getting girls

Yup, I’m sure this guy is hilarious. Well not only does this mean he’s not funny,  it means he’s a complete tool.  I don’t mind skater dudes or extreme athletes doing this stuff. But if your some regular joe dying your hair because you think and I quote an actual person here, “the ladies love it” then your sense of humor (not to mention any chance of being cool) simply doesn’t exist.

3. He sends you this video because he thinks it’s hilarious

I happen to know of a true case where one of my friends was sent this video by a male who cast himself off as being cool more often than not. My buddy receives an email that says and I quote “You HAVE to see this video. It’s unbelievable. If I had a website I’d put it up like right now. It would get so much traffic!”  Something tells me this wouldn’t happen.

4. He Doesn’t Think the Show Seinfeld was Good

Anyone who doesn’t think this show was good is not only unfunny, they’re a total moron as well.

5. He wears Hawaiian Shirts way too often

Wearing a Hawaiian shirt is definitely acceptable in Hawaii. It’s acceptable on Hawaiian shirt day. But if you’re making a habit of wearing short sleeved Hawaiian shirts, then you really have problems. There’s just no way you’re funny.

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images

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