20 Funny Hipster Wedding Trends That Need to Stop

Though everyone understands that wedding couples should have the kind of wedding that will make their day special for them, there is a nagging undercurrent among guests, and certainly wedding planners, that some hipster wedding trends have passed their expiration dates and should stop. These are very popular-mostly because new brides-to-be haven’t seen them yet. But for frequent wedding guests and wedding professionals, they’ve been used to the point of overuse. The trends seemed new and fresh at first, but now they just seem funny. Who thought these were good ideas in the first place?

Naked cakes

Though Martha Stewart has an entire slideshow featuring this latest hipster wedding trend, these cakes have a strange appearance. It doesn’t matter that they are often decorated with real flowers rather than the usual outer coat of frosting. Their nakedness looks unfinished-as if the bride walked down the isle naked herself. This alternative came about because so many are forgoing traditional frosted wedding cakes in favor of more healthful choices. There are many who dislike the sugary, too sweet taste of frosting. Part of the reason frosting exists on cakes at all is that it helps to keep the cake inside moist. This gives bakers time to create stunningly beautiful and elaborate exteriors for wedding cakes. But some prefer that their cakes be eaten fresh and are using fresh fruits as new ingredients. The problem with this is that no matter what is done to the layered cake, without frosting it just seems to lose its beauty. On the big day, let guests who don’t want to eat frosting scrape their own serving of cake. That way, guests who enjoy frosting can have their cake and eat the frosting too.

Live goldfish centerpieces

Goldfish in bowls are wondrous to see. Their colorful scales and fins are lovely, and their swimming can be entertaining. However… and this is a big however…anyone who has ever been to a carnival where one of the games is to throw ping pong balls into a goldfish bowl to win a goldfish knows that goldfish in bowls tend to die. Rather quickly. For all the wonderful color and exotic vibe, dead goldfish are not the most exciting thing to have at a wedding party. They are also difficult to transport, difficult to set up and hard to get rid of at the end of the wedding. Not a great idea at all.

Thumbprint guest books

While having this very personal memory of loved ones and dear friends in a wedding guestbook, in this day of security concerns, it’s hard to imagine that guests would willingly offer up their one unique identity mark so easily. The process of making thumbprints is also very messy. Two processes to use to create thumbprints include using ink or acrylic paints. Either method requires washing with soap and water or special ink remover. This is cumbersome. Guests dressed in nice clothing really don’t want to get involved in finger painting. 

Disposable cameras

In the 1990s, disposable cameras were loads of fun. It was easy to buy one, click the button to take the number of photos available, drop the camera off for photo developing, and pick up the photos. The cameras were cheap, point and click, easy to use, and everyone could be a photographer. Hipsters love the throwback factor and use them to create a blast to the past. The cameras can encourage ice breaker interactions among guests. They can also create extra things for guests to carry and keep straight- whose camera is whose anyway? It might be nicer to create an Instagram hashtag so everyone can follow the wedding easily. Some couples will have a photo booth instead, but a great photographer will always be able to produce better quality photos than either of the previous options. So, why not let the professional do that job, and spend the money elsewhere. 

Mashtinis

Without a doubt, this strange attempt at making a basic food item glamorous is just out of touch with reality. Whoever came up with the idea of serving mashed potatoes in martini glasses had a quirky sense of style. Sure- choosing from all sorts of toppings to add to the potatoes can be amusing. It’s nice to have choices. But mashed potatoes get cold quickly in glasses and are much harder to eat. Why bother? Just file this trend under “fun for a while” and then move on because this kind of buffet is much better for a casual game or movie night. 

Having your pet as part of the ceremony

Though we can love our pets as much as children, they really don’t do as well as children do at formal events. It can be adorable to see pets dressed up as wedding attendants, but this trend should be put aside as inappropriate. Pets don’t understand the true meaning of a wedding, and it’s irrational to think that they do. Even the most carefully trained pets need extra care to behave when in unusual circumstances. Their potential for leaving unsightly messes on carpets and isle runners is high. They can also get into fights when startled. Most guests will focus on pets instead of the bride and groom, spoiling the ceremony by upstaging the couple. It’s better to leave pets out of the plans and focus on the people who will be there instead. Guests may actually be offended that so much attention is being paid to pets instead of those who may have traveled long and worked hard to afford a vacation centered around a wedding. Pets are not children, and should not be included as if they were, either. Find a good pet sitter or board pets at a wonderful kennel for the duration of the wedding festivities to ensure that those who either hate pets or are allergic to them will not have to politely leave.

Substituting pillows on the ground instead of seats

Boho chic has had its day over, and over again. There’s a lot to like about this life style. It encompasses colorful décor and colorful living. The temptation to throw tradition to the wind and gather like-minded guests for a casual wedding has prompted many to put blankets on the ground and cover them with inviting pillows. It’s thought that guests can mingle in cozy fashion and get back to basics while enjoying the wedding. But chairs exist for some very important reasons and should be available. Not all guests will be able to get up and down from that inviting spread. Consider grandparents and elderly relatives before getting rid of chairs. Also imagine the surprise when guests arrive in their beautiful Bohemian attire and discover that their clothes will be rumpled from having to perch on the ground. Reserve the Bohemian seating for other days.

Complicated seating charts

This one item is an absolute essential for guests. They appreciate knowing where they should sit, and it’s proper and welcoming to plan seating assignments so that guests are near those they wish to be. This is true regardless of whether the meal will be served or if the guests will use a buffet line to serve themselves. Often, families discover that specific arrangements must be made to accommodate second husbands or wives and families which have entered the family but may not necessarily get along well with each other. In the past, tables were simply numbered, and guests found their table number to know where to sit. But it’s been a trend to create elaborate themed seating charts coordinated with equally elaborate place cards at each seat. Truthfully, guests really don’t want to spend time crowded around a chart which is difficult to understand. They also dislike playing games to figure out a chart that’s designed like a puzzle. They are probably just hungry. Avoid grumpiness by avoided crazy seating charts. That’s the polite and thoughtful way to handle direction signs at any wedding.

Bridal party dance routines

To be honest, unless the bridal party is filled with trained dancers, even the most talented are not able to come up with dance moves which are entertaining. Most are just plain folks, who may enjoy dancing but are nowhere near the level of professional entertainers. Forcing bridesmaids and groomsmen to learn choreography on top of the stresses of just getting down the aisle during the wedding is a lot. Most would prefer to enjoy dancing during the wedding without being required to serve as an unpaid dinner show. Guests are also very savvy these days about what makes a great dancer. They may laugh at first, but what they are really thinking is that the entire show is either absurd or pointless. What difference does it really make anyway? Why is it necessary to show the world that the bridal party can pull off, sort of, a crazy dance routine? It’s not. The truth is that guests often view these routines as embarrassing and would prefer to see those dressed in formal attire retain a dignified posture for what should be an elegant event.

DIY confetti

It seems a bit strange that awareness over global hunger has prompted so many couples to forego throwing rice at their weddings. The idea of wasting potential food to celebrate potential fertility and good wishes has become old fashioned in many circles. Hipsters have decided that something should be thrown in celebration, and confetti of all kinds has taken the place of rice. Never mind that birds and other creatures can eat the rice- but not confetti. One popular activity devised by creative minds is the process of setting up a table where guests can mix and match their favorite kinds and colors of confetti which they will throw at the wedding couple at the appropriate time. But, confetti can make huge messes, and it can wedge itself in eyes, hair, and bridal gowns. It’s also slippery. DIY confetti is probably boring and dangerous. Forget it.

Cookies and milk in teeny shot glasses for dessert

Nobody would deny the popularity of milk and cookies. These two classics are dessert comfort foods. The big question is why they should appear at one of the most important events a couple will share. Oh, we understand that the teeny shot glasses are supposed to make the dessert sophisticated for adults. The truth is that adults would prefer those shot glasses filled with adult beverages. Many adults have dairy allergies and don’t drink milk at all. This is one case of trying too hard to squeeze a favorite dessert into something it isn’t. Wrong dessert for a dressy affair.

Hiring a painter to capture the special day in artwork

Here’s the idea: in the days before photography, the elite would hire artists to sketch and paint the celebratory moments in life. The selected artist would attend the event, with artist materials in hand, and create a painting which would honor the day. These artists were among the best and were well known for their talented ability to render people with accuracy and style. They were handsomely paid for their work, and often had several sponsors who employed them. The expense associated with live painters is often out of the reach of mere mortals, and that’s why it’s been a mark of distinction to have them. Mere mortals have photographers, who are also expensive, but common. Hipsters prefer the less common, and that has fueled this aristocratic trend. Keep in mind that it takes time to draw and paint, so live artists will probably miss a lot. For those who truly want to record the event in its fullest-stick to a photographer.

Country style Mason jars

This trend has been in place for a very long time, as Mason jars gained popularity along with a surge in Country Western everything. Films, music, dancing, and socializing took a decided bend toward everything which made the American West great. Barbeque restaurants surged in popularity, and people flocked to learn how to country line dance, join square dance clubs, and listen to the latest cross-over recordings from Country Western pop artists. The homey atmosphere associated with Mason jars looks back at the time when every kind of food imaginable was grown on the farm and canned by hand at home. These jars epitomize do-it-yourself home-grown foods picked at their freshest and lovingly processed to store up in the cellar for the winter. The cultural longing for things remembered paired with new ways to use these formerly utilitarian jars. Mason jars have been used for everything imaginable at weddings: cocktail glasses, candle holders, and receptacles for guest favors, to name just a few. At one time, they were inexpensive and useful. Now, they are useful and expensive due to their easy popularity. To be truly original, avoid them.

His and hers signature cocktails

Almost every couple struggles with what drinks they should serve their guests. The traditional champagne and wine options are expensive. Hosting an open bar adds an unknown surprise expense at the end of a long day, with a bar tab someone will need to cover. Nobody wants unlimited drinks and drunk guests. The concept of serving signature cocktails might seem like a stylish alternative to these problems. But the truth is that guests would prefer to select from a few drinks they prefer, rather than be forced to drink something that isn’t to their taste. Many guests enjoy beer and wine much more than cocktails. Another option is to go ahead and hire the bartender for the open bar, but just skip signature cocktails. Most guests only find them entertaining for a moment, and that really doesn’t justify the extra time it takes to create them and the extra money for any unusual ingredients they may require.

Burlap décor

Rustic themes have dominated weddings for years now. They emerged as alternatives to traditional church weddings as part of romantic notions that everything in nature is somehow more heartfelt. The trend began with couples who truly enjoy outdoor activities together and spread to those who liked the beautiful possibilities which natural elements add to a wedding. About the same time, burlap fabric became the rage. Burlap is less expensive than silk and satin. It’s also neutral in color. For these reasons, it’s a versatile fabric which quickly creates a country vibe. The big problem with burlap, however, is that it looks rustic, but it also feels rustic. Yes, it brings a feeling of nature indoors, but it’s the kind of scratchy discomfort one would usually associate with horse’s feed bags, bags of grain for the cows and pigs, and lots of other farm items. Burlap has its place on the farm. Just let it stay there.

Barn weddings

There’s something endearing about weddings and receptions held in barns when either the bride and groom grew up on a ranch or farm. Couples who came from a small town might select a barn because it’s on family property or owned by a close family friend. It might be that the barn has always been the gathering place for dances or other town events. When that’s the case, it’s a natural choice to hold the wedding in a cherished spot like that. But, it can be completely arduous for urban dwellers to make the trek to a country location where there are no nearby hotels and air-conditioning doesn’t exist for guests dressed for a formal wedding which just happens to take place in a barn. High heels do not walk well on grass, and elderly guests may stumble on gravel walkways. Consider who will attend and their needs before booking that beautiful, but out of the way venue.

Customized sunglasses

This is one idea which could be fun for the wedding day, but practically useless ever after. With beach weddings being so very popular, sunglasses can be a welcoming favor to give guests. The sunlight or sunset at a beach location cannot be controlled. Guests often find themselves squinting and wishing they could see the wedding ceremony more clearly without the sun in their eyes. After all, the couple is always standing in front of the ocean view, and the sunsets can frame them beautifully. But, these angles are difficult for guests even when they are perfect for photographers. Sunglasses can help. But customized versions with the wedding date and the initials or names of the couple are ridiculous because nobody will want to wear them any other time.

A donut wall

Of course, traditional wedding cakes cost a fortune. That’s because they’re incredibly time-consuming to make, and they require expert decorating skills. For many brides, the hunt for the most beautiful wedding cake, and the most flavorful, can be agonizing. Add to that the need to consider favorite flavors for cake and frosting, and the selection process is often overwhelming. The old tradition of everyone having a taste of the bridal cake for good luck has become almost impossible to achieve as weddings have increased the number of invited guests. The reality is that the wedding cake often is reserved for photo ops of the bride and groom cutting the cake and sharing a taste. While the bridal party and close family may share a bit of that all-important cake, it cannot stretch to feed everyone. Most often, there are sheet cakes held in reserve to cut and serve for all the guests. To avoid expense and give everyone favorite choices, brides have begun to serve cupcakes or cookies instead. But, one alternative option, a donut wall, though cute, has seen better days. The trendy DIY display of donuts hung on pegs seems great. It’s cheap and fun. But, why bother? The wall looks sad as soon as guests start to take the donuts off, and they will be dry and hard by that time. Those donuts could look elegant presented on a crystal cake stand, instead.

Sexist signs with jokes that the groom is not serious about getting married

What bride in her right mind would allow anyone to display a sign that even hints that her beloved groom may be reluctant to marry her? A wedding is meant to celebrate the union of a bride and groom who truly love each other and are promising to commit to a lifetime together, whatever comes. It’s no secret that men with a humorous bent enjoy pre-wedding jokes about the groom being dragged to his wedding. But that kind of joking around is best left at the guy party which takes place before the wedding. Not many find these kinds of jokes proper or remotely cute on the wedding day.

Giant ice cream sundaes

Who doesn’t love a big, gooey mass of ice cream and toppings on a hot summer day? They’re the quintessential kid’s treat. Great for cooling off and having a snack that seems just right when the temperatures soar. Most everyone has a favorite flavor of ice cream. Chocolate, strawberry, and vanilla are the traditional choices, and these are easy to serve. Gourmet varieties are more personalized and aren’t universally preferred. If ice cream must be on the wedding day menu, avoiding the unique blends is advised. But ice cream also comes with its own set of problems. Everyone knows that you get to lick your way through a sundae quickly before it plops over the edges of its dish. That’s the fun of it. That’s also the biggest reason to avoid serving these marvelous concoctions at weddings. Nobody wants to take the chance that ice cream or sticky toppings will ruin a beautiful dress or tailored suit on the big day. Unless the wedding will be conspicuously casual, leave the ice cream for another day.


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