Going back to before I can even remember, I’ve never liked being told what to do.
Back in my kindergarten days when my class would get in line, I was the kid who got off the line and stood somewhere else off by myself.
My teacher, Mrs. Hamburger (yes that was her name) called my mother in to see her and told my mom that she thought there might be something wrong with me.
Back then we didn’t know terms like A.D.D. or Autism. My mom was actually appalled by this suggestion. Not because she didn’t think kids had issues in the world. It was because she knew that wasn’t what was “wrong with me.”
My mother suggested to Mrs. Hamburger that I was perhaps advanced and that the class bored me.
Thankfully my mom was right. I took an IQ test weeks later and as fate would have it, I was gifted.
I tell this story not to brag about being gifted or having a high IQ.
I tell this story because my brain has simply never been able to handle things “as they are” or how “they are supposed to be.”
When you’re a kid you’re supposed to listen to your teachers. You’re supposed to listen to your parents. You’re supposed to fall in line with what you’re told to do.
As you move into adulthood, you’re supposed to do what your boss tells you, your financial advisor tells you, your TV news tells you, and so on and so forth.
My issues with authority
I was never able to get over someone telling me what to do.
There’s no other way to explain it other than it’s “in me.”
Even if a person is the nicest person in the world, something rubs me the wrong way about being told what to do and how to do it.
I’d almost rather completely fail at something on my own than be told what to do.
Let me just add however, that that doesn’t mean I can’t be taught something.
It doesn’t mean I can’t be encouraged or coached.
In fact I’m always open to suggestion. I’m always open to new ways and methods of learning.
It’s just the authority thing I can’t shake.
When I broke out it was a magical moment
Given my authority issues it’s no surprise that from 2001-2008 I jumped from job to job.
I did well in said jobs. I was “successful” from an income standpoint. On the outside looking in you’d think I was happy and “all set.”
But I never felt that way.
I just couldn’t stand being told when to be somewhere, when to leave, what was expected of me, anything. Again, even if my superiors were super nice, it just never sat well with me.
So when I finally quit my job in 2008 to work for myself, from day one in my apartment I was a machine.
I worked hard than I had ever worked in my entire life.
It’s not the hours that I put in, it was the focus. It was the precision and dedication.
I think it was in large part because it was just me. It was me and only me challenging myself and telling myself what to do.
Sometimes that’s all the catalyst we need
When something in your life is extremely important to you, sometimes that’s the only catalyst you need to take it to the next level.
You might hate having a boss.
You might have having to commute (as I did).
And you might realize that as soon as this hinderance is removed in your life, you become the best version of yourself.
But here’s the thing: you gotta take the leap. You have to sacrifice. You have to take the hits first before you can prosper.
But don’t worry, you can take the hits with me if you want…..