Constantly Find Ways to “Start Over” To Keep You Going

Holding Hands

Dear Boys,

For the last few weeks of my life I feel like I might be in “midlife crisis” mode.  After doing a decent amount of reading the subject I’m actually quite convinced I’m in the middle of what many would consider to be a midlife crisis.  I’m checking on many of the points that I hear are key criteria in the assessment.  First of all I just turned 40.  Consciously or unconsciously I know that this age represents that fact that I’m in the “second half” of my life.  And since I’m someone that doesn’t like to think about doing all the things I “want to do” past the age of 65, I’m pretty much freaking out about all of that stuff now.  When am I going to start doing my bucket list?  When am I going to do all of these things I’ve been putting off?  And I’m also at one of these annoying points in my life where I feel so unmotivated by things.  Like I don’t even want to do anything anymore.  Literally nothing interests me.  It’s just the same thing every single day.  Frankly it’s been kicking my ass these last few weeks.  So I’ve decided to use a tactic I tend to use in my career that generally keeps the adrenaline going.  It’s something I call “starting over.”

Starting over in business

I love new projects.  I even love the “appearance” of new projects.  One of the ways I pump life into my business is by taking on new challenges and by putting new layers of challenges into existing businesses.   Since the business I’m in isn’t new at all but the challenge itself adds a new layer, I call it “starting over.”  A good example would be this very website.  I already own and operate 8 other websites.  Each one has their own theme, their own style, their own way of generating revenue and traffic.  But by starting this website, I’m in a sense “starting over.”  Even though I understand the business of building website and am very familiar with all of the details, that doesn’t mean this venture isn’t something new.  It doesn’t mean I can’t have the same excitement starting this site as I did starting something 10 years ago.  Because this is unknown territory.  Taking it even a step further, how about starting a new section to an existing website?  Constantly layering my business with more “businesses” is something I love to do because it keeps me motivated and aspiring to achieve something more.  Any chance I get to feel like I’m “starting over” on top of an existing layer of something is a chance I relish every single time.

Starting over in a hobby

Piano is a great example of a hobby that you can “start over” in what can possibly be an infinite number of times.  No matter how good you get at playing the piano there’s always something else you can learn, another song you can play, or audience to entertain (assuming you get that far).   The key is to know when you are getting stagnant.  When you reach that point it’s time to do something new within piano.  Maybe add a guitar to your music.  If you’re a blues player, maybe try classical.  If you think you know a ton about piano, perhaps you try your hands at becoming a piano teacher for a while?  The point is that if you don’t want it to, it will never end.

Starting over in a relationship

I’m particularly referring to marriages here but any relationship will do.  For me specifically?  Marriage has a bazillion “do overs” and I think these “resets” are one of the biggest keys to a long lasting and successful relationship.  Sometimes you have a “do over” because your relationship feels boring.  So what do you do?  You try and rekindle the romance by going on dates, doing fun little things that you haven’t done with your partner in a while.  What about in the bedroom?  What if things are getting a little boring in there?  Try some whipped cream!  OK I’ll leave it at that.  Sometimes in a relationship a do over is forced on you like in the case of having a child.  I’ve purposefully and not on purpose had a ton of times where me and the wife “started over” and I’m hopefully and confident that these will fuel us to stay together for the rest of our lives.

Starting over: parting words

I think that almost anything in life can be made “new” by adding some tweaks and resetting it so that you’re starting over.  The question is, “is it worth it?”  That’s a huge question and it’s very important because ultimately it has to do with how you want to spent your time, which I’ve stressed time and time again (pun intended) is our most precious commodity.  So in the case of relationships, if “starting over” keeps leading to negative results and you’ve tried everything possible to keep it together, then perhaps a new relationship altogether is what you need.  The same goes for business or anything in life.  If starting over gets old and you’re not constantly stimulated or refreshed by new challenges within your area of focus, then perhaps its time to focus on something new.  Therein lies one of the biggest challenges in life.

Love,

Dad

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