Mar
30
2009

I’d like to congratulate Jane on having what I believe to be the best body at Duke University. And of course this makes me miss college. Because many of the fellas at Duke who could never land a girl that looks like this in the real world, all have a decent shot next year. And who knows who had a shot this year.
You see Jane is going to be graduating in 2012 which means she’s still young for Duke. There are still nearly 3 years left for her to put on significant weight. However, given her tan and penchant for partying with Duke basketball players, the smart money says this girl is going to stay in top form for a long time.
Jane, I just want to thank you for giving me another moment that gets me that much closer to suicide. It’s pictures like these that are the building blocks to me having to either start an adult fraternity (which will inevitably fail) or a bar which I have no patience for.
Either way, I’m 30 now and just can’t do it anymore. Good God, is life this bad? After you see these pictures you might realize that yes, it is.
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