I’ll tell you what happened to Mia Sara: A leading role in Legend with Tom Cruise before landing her part in as Ferris’s squeeze to an eventual major hiatus from being in any known movie. Sometimes women just disappear.

I remember seeing her in the movie Timecop with Jean Claude Van Damme (1994). And if you type her name into any search engine and check out the image results, you will find plenty of nudity. So she’s got that going for her….which is nice.

But other than that? What is “Sloan” up to these days? Looks like she’s still trying to be an actress. Her last known role was in a TV series called Tinseltown. By the way she got an award for her role in Timecop! Amazing (albeit it was a Saturn Award, whatever that is).

I was hoping it was for her perky breasts.

“You shit on my house!” Oh yeah. We all remember good old Kenneth do we not? The red haired dorky friend of Patrick Dempsey in the movie Can’t Buy Me Love. Remember how pissed he was when Dempsey tried to apologize in the arcade? Awesome.

So what’s Courtney Gains (yes Courtney) up to these days? I remember the last time I saw him was in an episode of Seinfeld as a video store clerk where he had really long hair.

But Gains still acts (and produces). I think his most notable role was in the movie Dorm Daze where he played “Lorenzo the Black Hand.” Seriously though, he does plenty of TV and I hope people still shit on his house.

Kenneth!

He was most memorable as the overweight friend of Scott (Michael J. Fox) in Teen Wolf as well as the bratty rich rival Francis in Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. “I know you are but what am I? I know you are but what am I?…… Spearmint or Fruit?”

But what the hell is Mark Holton up to these days? I assume not much considering I couldn’t find one damned recent picture of the guy. IMDB has one of him with a mustache.

In any event, Holton is now 50 years old, is still an actor, and still eats tons of cheese.

Remember little cute red haired Sam from “Different Strokes?” Those adorable southern dances and the thunder he stole from Gary Coleman were marks of brilliance. But what happened to the little fellow? His real name is Danny Cooksey.

You might remember him in the movie Terminator 2: Judgement Day as a punked out 14 year old which is pretty representative of his real life. Other than playing the complete dick Budnick on “Salute Your Shorts” Cooksey spends his time still combing his long hair and heavy metaling it up with various bands (including one formed by Steve Vai).

Funny, I always just assumed he sat around masturbating to old episodes of Different Strokes (hopefully not the infamous child molesting one with Dudley, Arnold and the man with the bicycle store). Cooksey also does voice overs for Cartoons.

Sam Mckinney!

It’s amazing how much The Shining is on television and yet I never watch the thing fully through. Perhaps it’s because of how unbelievably disturbing it is. Speaking of disturbing, how about Danny Lloyd?

Danny is the person who plays Jack Nicholson’s creepy son “Danny.” “Redrum, redrum.” This is just not your normal child. And you have to figure he isn’t normal in real life. So what’s he up to now?

After only shooting one more movie, this is all I could find courtesy of Rotten Tomatoes. “Danny Lloyd has remained a private person, not choosing to pursue a career in acting. An adult now, he has chosen to become a teacher in his home state of Illinois. He is currently teaching at a community college in Kentucky. ”

It’s probably best we don’t know about this guy. I’m sure the part missing from that bio is “murdering spree and masturbation record in the U.S.” Danny!!!!!!!!! Nicholson was amazing.

She used to like to go “skinny skiing” and “bull fights on acid.” So what the hell is Cindy Morgan up to these days? You all remember the vibrant, sexy, 80’s blond who played Lacey Underall in Caddyshack right?

She was sexy before implants became sexy. I tell ya when she was licking Danny Noonan’s hand telling him is loveline? That was as good as porn back then. Of course now it would probably make me limper than seeing a current photo of her.

Cindy still acts (though mostly voice) and is finishing a book about how a nice Catholic girl became Lacey Underall in Caddyshack.

I sure do miss the days of Tony D’Annunzio rub downs.

And how am I reminded of Charlotte Lewis? By watching “Seinfeld” of course. It was the episode where George dates a woman who he thinks is bulimic. “She’s refunding.”

Well, ladies and gentlemen, that’s Charlotte Lewis, the sexy young vixen who starred along side Eddie Murphy in The Golden Child. So what is she up to today?

Can’t seem to see her too recently (she’s in London taking care of her mother) but a couple of notables: She was on the cover of Playboy and did a lesbian scene with Alyssa Milano (yes, nudity) in the movie Embracing the Vampire.

More pics after the jump

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Oh you must not forget Debbie Callahan. She was the buxom blond cop from every single Police Academy movie including “Mission to Moscow.”

Her real name is Leslie Easterbrook and I think the real burning question is….have we ever seen her breasts exposed?

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