In every single picture in Fabioooooo’s Myspace Profile you see the word “Guido.”  All I can say is that at least the guy is admitting it.  Though I’m not sure I’d want to go around admitting that I take cell phone pictures of myself, paste them into my Myspace Page, and mush my lips together in every single one of them.

Are these people constipated when they do this?  Is there an itch on their upper lip?  They don’t actually think this is an attractive look do they?  Nah that would be way too easy.

Guido, Fabiooo!

Posting pictures of the sneakers you bought on your Myspace Profile?  What is that?  Are women going to be magically whisked away because of your new Nike’s that happen to be blue?

What generation am I witnessing here?  Why the hell is it sunny outside and raining right now?  Is the ozone even a layer anymore.

Man this guy is a tool

What up what up what up!  Sal boy!

He’s what the French would define as super-cool.

I totally forgot how awesome the attached phone to your jeans look was.

Sally!

I understand the backwards hat.  Hell I can even understand a tilted hat even though I can’t stand it.  Sure, you want to wear a bandana?  Go ahead.  But what’s with the scarf thing?  Who wears scarves in the middle of the summer?  End of summer.  Any part of summer.

I don’t get this.  I really don’t.  Is it an Italian thing?  Or is it just something people who wear yellow tinted sunglasses do?

I’m done here.

I should have realized this a while back.  Just as there are all these guido tools out there trying to pretend they’ve been a part of the Mafia since birth, there is also a contingent of Russian Mafia wannabees as well.

My first candidate is a guy who calls himself E.Z. which really stands for Eko Zilcic.

he likes to hurt people & put bruises on them. and he makes people cry sometimes too. hes a tough boyyyy.

Yes I’m sure that’s true

I’m not being a racist here by any means.   The whole sweatshop line is exactly what it says in this kid’s Myspace Profile.  Look I have no definitive proof but I’m 99% sure this guys is absolutely awesome.

Not awesome in the sense that I could have a meaningful conversation with the guy.  But awesome in the sense that he would rank way up there with guys I’d want to haze and laugh at.

This guy’s great.  Period.

I actually feel bad for people that think this guy is cool.

Wopness!

According to “SIMONYCM” on AOL Instant Messenger, he doesn’t “give a f*ck if you’re offended.”  Offended by what exactly?  That you weigh 16 lbs and take oily disgusting pictures of yourself?

How about that you were ridiculously loser Debbie Gibson hats or have a fauxhawk?  Are those reasons to be offended?  Or is it because you talk TONS of trash thinking you’re way cooler than you are when in fact you’re a little weakling who wears vests without a shirt.

Which is it Simon?  Which offense is it?

Simone!

I swear to God I’m going to gag in my own mouth if I see one more self ab shot.  Can we please with the self body shots and the cell phones?

I mean I know these kids are trying to do this for the ladies but don’t they realize this is one step away from catering to the church and their internets here?  It’s really disturbing.

Clean it up Manny