. The Myspace Toolbox | - Part 4

Archive for the 'The Myspace Toolbox' Category

Sep 15 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Is This the Real Life Turtle?

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For those of you who still watch Entourage, I’m pretty sure this guy models his entire life after the character Turtle.  When you really think about it, it’s not a terrible life if you’re in your early 20s.

Mooching of your friends, smoking pot all day, and being a little tubby.  But even in Entourage, Turtle is becoming discouraged by himself.  Perhaps this gentleman should feel the same way.


Turtle Turtle Turtle

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Sep 14 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: His Name is Gary

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And he has a belt buckle to prove it!

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Sep 10 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Mikey Cerbone, Yeah Man, Yeah

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Mike Cerbone

Tell me you don’t look at this picture and think this is the coolest guy in the entire universe.

Really?  You don’t?  Huh.  Could have fooled me man.

Cer Bone Me!

Mike Cerbone Mike Cerbone Mike Cerbone

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Sep 09 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Nicky Roidz

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I don’t get it.

What a tool

Nicky Roids Nicky_Roids_ Nicky_Roids_

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Sep 08 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: No Chance this Kid is 19…Or Cool

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You see now this picture would be completely awesome if the kid were 5-years-old.  But since he’s trying to come off as 19 and really looks like he’s around 13, then it just makes him look all the more stupid.

Plus this little piece of crap writes stuff like “f*ck the haters?”  You have to be kidding me.  He’s maybe 60 lbs soaking wet.  What people are spending any energy on this guy…except for me?

Yeah I’m a hater.  What up playa?

Alex Alex Alex

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Sep 07 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: He’s Blind to You Haters

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Again with the word “haters.”   But what I really want to know is if this guy’s name is Elmo.  I mean Elmo?  Come on dude.  You can’t actually think you’re tough and have your name be Elmo can you?  And I use the word “can” not because I’m a grammatical moron but because I actually think this guy literally doesn’t have the ability to know…well, anything.

I’ve been on this bloke’s page for 16 seconds and want to throw up from the song on.  I feel like it’s probably his song or something.  God it’s terrible.  This has to be a white loser rapper trying to be cool.

Dude, you suck

Elmo Elmo Elmo

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Sep 04 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Well At Least the Guy Admits It

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In every single picture in Fabioooooo’s Myspace Profile you see the word “Guido.”  All I can say is that at least the guy is admitting it.  Though I’m not sure I’d want to go around admitting that I take cell phone pictures of myself, paste them into my Myspace Page, and mush my lips together in every single one of them.

Are these people constipated when they do this?  Is there an itch on their upper lip?  They don’t actually think this is an attractive look do they?  Nah that would be way too easy.

Guido, Fabiooo!

Fabio Fabio Fabio

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Sep 03 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: I Wish I were Making this Stuff Up

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Posting pictures of the sneakers you bought on your Myspace Profile?  What is that?  Are women going to be magically whisked away because of your new Nike’s that happen to be blue?

What generation am I witnessing here?  Why the hell is it sunny outside and raining right now?  Is the ozone even a layer anymore.

Man this guy is a tool

Marcone Marcone Marcone

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Sep 02 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Sal Boy is One for the Ages

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Sal Boy

What up what up what up!  Sal boy!

He’s what the French would define as super-cool.

I totally forgot how awesome the attached phone to your jeans look was.


Sal Boy Sal Boy Sal Boy

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Sep 01 2009

The Mypace Toolbox: Another Dude Who Wears Scarves?

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Lenny Lobue

I understand the backwards hat.  Hell I can even understand a tilted hat even though I can’t stand it.  Sure, you want to wear a bandana?  Go ahead.  But what’s with the scarf thing?  Who wears scarves in the middle of the summer?  End of summer.  Any part of summer.

I don’t get this.  I really don’t.  Is it an Italian thing?  Or is it just something people who wear yellow tinted sunglasses do?

I’m done here.

Lenny Lobue Lenny Lobue Lenny Lobue

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