You see now this picture would be completely awesome if the kid were 5-years-old.  But since he’s trying to come off as 19 and really looks like he’s around 13, then it just makes him look all the more stupid.

Plus this little piece of crap writes stuff like “f*ck the haters?”  You have to be kidding me.  He’s maybe 60 lbs soaking wet.  What people are spending any energy on this guy…except for me?

Yeah I’m a hater.  What up playa?

Again with the word “haters.”   But what I really want to know is if this guy’s name is Elmo.  I mean Elmo?  Come on dude.  You can’t actually think you’re tough and have your name be Elmo can you?  And I use the word “can” not because I’m a grammatical moron but because I actually think this guy literally doesn’t have the ability to know…well, anything.

I’ve been on this bloke’s page for 16 seconds and want to throw up from the song on.  I feel like it’s probably his song or something.  God it’s terrible.  This has to be a white loser rapper trying to be cool.

Dude, you suck

In every single picture in Fabioooooo’s Myspace Profile you see the word “Guido.”  All I can say is that at least the guy is admitting it.  Though I’m not sure I’d want to go around admitting that I take cell phone pictures of myself, paste them into my Myspace Page, and mush my lips together in every single one of them.

Are these people constipated when they do this?  Is there an itch on their upper lip?  They don’t actually think this is an attractive look do they?  Nah that would be way too easy.

Guido, Fabiooo!

Posting pictures of the sneakers you bought on your Myspace Profile?  What is that?  Are women going to be magically whisked away because of your new Nike’s that happen to be blue?

What generation am I witnessing here?  Why the hell is it sunny outside and raining right now?  Is the ozone even a layer anymore.

Man this guy is a tool

What up what up what up!  Sal boy!

He’s what the French would define as super-cool.

I totally forgot how awesome the attached phone to your jeans look was.

Sally!

I understand the backwards hat.  Hell I can even understand a tilted hat even though I can’t stand it.  Sure, you want to wear a bandana?  Go ahead.  But what’s with the scarf thing?  Who wears scarves in the middle of the summer?  End of summer.  Any part of summer.

I don’t get this.  I really don’t.  Is it an Italian thing?  Or is it just something people who wear yellow tinted sunglasses do?

I’m done here.

I should have realized this a while back.  Just as there are all these guido tools out there trying to pretend they’ve been a part of the Mafia since birth, there is also a contingent of Russian Mafia wannabees as well.

My first candidate is a guy who calls himself E.Z. which really stands for Eko Zilcic.

he likes to hurt people & put bruises on them. and he makes people cry sometimes too. hes a tough boyyyy.

Yes I’m sure that’s true

I’m not being a racist here by any means.   The whole sweatshop line is exactly what it says in this kid’s Myspace Profile.  Look I have no definitive proof but I’m 99% sure this guys is absolutely awesome.

Not awesome in the sense that I could have a meaningful conversation with the guy.  But awesome in the sense that he would rank way up there with guys I’d want to haze and laugh at.

This guy’s great.  Period.

I actually feel bad for people that think this guy is cool.

Wopness!