Archive for the 'The Myspace Toolbox' Category

Oct 29 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: I’m Extremely Disappointed in Lukie G

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

Lukie G

Alright.  I’ll admit it.  This guy is a pretty good looking guy.  I have the sensitivity and confidence in my own manhood to admit that a male is desirable to the female (or male population).

So why would you take a good looking guy and have him look like a complete jackass like Lukie G does?  I just don’t get it.  I refuse to believe that he talks normal based on his use of the phrase “do you like” spelled as “likieee?”  And it’s evident that he must have just grown up wrong.

This same guy could be wearing a suit, walking down the street and I’d think he was a badass. But because of these pictures, I’d like to use a pick axe to put the pieces of his brain back together.

You’re better than that Lukie

Lukie G Lukie G Lukie G Lukie G

No responses yet

Oct 28 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: B@BY G33

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

G3

Really?  Really G3?  This is what you look like?

Like this is what you wear and stuff?  You go out on the town in this apparel?  You take pictures at home with your cell phone and think to yourself “ahhhhh yeah, the ladies love me tonight.”

I mean I’m willing to bet this guy talks to himself more than most of these tools do.  And thanks for the pictures of you kissing someone.  We’re very impressed that you’re “getting some” buddy.

Toolness!

G3 G3 G3 G3

One response so far

Oct 27 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: Kynt

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

Kynt

A.  Kynt is a Male.

B.  I thought I was a male.

C.  Three Words:  Scariest. Person. Ever

I will not be sleeping tonight

Kynt Kynt Kynt Kynt

4 responses so far

Oct 24 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: Cold Hearted Does Not Want Any B*tch Assness

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

Cold Heart

But wouldn’t not wanting any b*tch assness constitute someone who is filled to the brim with b*itch assness?

Well at least someone whose hair spikes could easily penetrate a windshield would be assness though.  And Mr. Cold Heart is certainly not short on dope hair spikes yo!

Ah yes, one more amazing characteristic.  We mustn’t forget the horrible physique with no shirt on and a belt buckle that scribbles backwards profanity in fake gold.  I weep for our future.

Cold Hearted yo

Cold Heart Cold Heart Cold Heart Cold Heart

One response so far

Oct 23 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: Screw Snapple, This Guy’s the Best Stuff on Earth

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

Portuguese Tool

You know something?  I guess saying “Fcuk me I’m Portuguese” really is a sign that you’re cool buddy!

Actually no, it’s not.

It just means you’re a Portuguese Tool.

Portuguese Tool Portuguese Tool Portuguese Tool

No responses yet

Oct 22 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: Playboy Mikey D

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

Mikey D

1.  I hate anyone that’s ever been friends with this guy.

2.  The fact that “Playboy” has had sex with at least one hot girl in his lifetime just goes to show how messed up a world it is we live in.  (P.S. his response to that line would be “damn right n*gga, you wish you got play” to which I’d shoot him)

3.  His mother is actually proud of him.

I’m going to go kill myself now.

Mikey D Mikey D Mikey D

No responses yet

Oct 21 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: Whiteboy is Gone..See You Suckers Soon

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

Whiteboy

She Want That Lovie Dovie.. That Kiss Kiss

Yes Mr. Whiteboy. That is the caption you actually chose for a picture inside your Myspace Profile. Shall I share some other brainbusters? Here’s one: “What can i say i get bored at 7 am in Atlantic City bathrooms?”

Oh I get it! You’re a badass who wears green ties and stays up until 7am.

Call It The Panty Dropper..Who Wants To Go For A Ride Her Names Christine. Well that would be my last straw. Naming your car. Survey says? Very Toolboxy

Whiteboy! (Yes, you’re white)

Whiteboy Whiteboy Whiteboy Whiteboy

No responses yet

Oct 20 2008

The Myspace Toolbox: S3rgio

Published by Natty under The Myspace Toolbox

Sergio

Oh my God, did you see what Sergio did there?  He used a 3 instead of an “E.”  Man that was genius.  Doesn’t it just look amazing?  I gotta say I was gonna let this guy slide.

I rummaged through a few pictures in the old Myspace Profile and everything seemed copasetic until boom.  I saw the damned lip pouting, mushroom gel haired pictures.  Why?

Why oh why Sergio?  And the aqua vest.  Come on buddy.

You can do it!

Sergio Sergio Sergio Sergio

No responses yet

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