. The Myspace Toolbox | - Part 2

Archive for the 'The Myspace Toolbox' Category

Oct 15 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Changing Your Name Doesn’t Make You Less of a Tool

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I posted this dude a long time ago and I have no idea what his name was then but I know it wasn’t Bootze.  Honestly it doesn’t get any more stereotypical than this guy.

Every hat, earring, hairstyle, prop, anything this guy does is solely to be “in.”  It’s solely to be cool.  It’s to be “with it” or whatever lame phrase you’d want to use.

I honestly don’t think there’s one sincere thing about this guy other than the fact that his goal is to not be real.


Bootze Bootze Bootze

No responses yet

Oct 14 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Pierre Brown Wanted to Be My Friend

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I kind of felt bad for this guy.  One little picture all lonely and stuff.  Sure I’ll be your friend buddy.

No responses yet

Oct 13 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: This Could be Your Barber Someday

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Like “House of Pain” was even gonna do anything?

Why because he stepped to you Snoop Dog?

God I love that movie

Barber Barber Barber

No responses yet

Oct 09 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: It’s Spreading to Israel Now?

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Israel Loser

I mean I always knew there were douchebags in other countries but to know that the clubby, greasy, earring generation is there?  Come on now.  Douchey people in other countries are just supposed to be mean and smell bad.  They’re not supposed to be Myspace tools.

Oh wait?  This guy is from New York and is simply shining the fact that he’s Jewish!  So basically that makes it 100 times worse because now the people of Israel have to contend with this crap.

Sorry guys.  We’ll try and keep these punks to a minimum

Israel Loser Israel Loser Israel Loser

No responses yet

Oct 08 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: A DJ Who I don’t think is a DJ

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DJ Rob

I see no evidence of turn table spinning on Mr. Mob DJ’s Myspace Page.  And even if I did, the fact that his pants were lower than his buttocks in a pathetic attempt to be “urban” would bother the living hell out of me.

Looks like the damned guy is wearing huggies for Christ’s sake.  Pick up your pants and be a human being man.  And what’s with the red shirts with skulls on it?  I think even the heavy metal crowd would beat you up for that one.

Mob Shallow!

DJ Rob DJ Rob DJ Rob

2 responses so far

Oct 07 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Manny Doesn’t Mix

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I know it’s religious and all that.  I understand that it’s a practice and you must wear the proper garbs on top of one’s head.  However, doesn’t it look kind of ridiculous to wear “gangsterish” or “hoodish” hats over it?

I don’t know.  It just looks kind of absurd to me.

Sorry Manny

Manny Manny Manny

No responses yet

Oct 06 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Wearing an Eye Patch is Never Cool

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Pirate Boy

The only time I’ve ever seen someone pull off an eye patch and enjoyed it was in Seinfeld when Kramer wore one.  “I wanna be a pirate.”  But in real life?  I think people should be beat up on the spot for wearing one and not even really needing to wear one.

This guy?  Yeah I know he’s being a tool on purpose but still.  That doesn’t change the fact that he wears extremely lame sunglasses below.  And that leads me to believe what I believe about all the guys I post in this section.

Pure dumbass

Pirate Boy Pirate Boy Pirate Boy

No responses yet

Oct 05 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: A Mother’s Dream

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Let this sink in for a moment:

There once was a time when this “person” was a baby.  His mother held him tight with visions of this child growing up to be a wonderful man.  To bear this woman grand children that she could love and nourish so that they too could grow up and be successful.

Imagine what this mother must be feeling now.


One response so far

Oct 02 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Can you Get on Marcelo’s Guest List?

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Gee I hope I can!

Is it me or does this guy completely remind you of Alex Rodriguez?  There’s no chance these guys don’t tan together in the offseason.


Marcelo Marcelo Marcelo

No responses yet

Oct 01 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Yeah, I’m sure You’re 27 Dude

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Look, I understand Myspace basically letting everyone through to make a profile.  It’s kind of like when you go into an age verification on a porn site.  I mean what 13-Year-Old is really going to click the “no” button?

But when someone goes as far as to actually post multiple pictures of themselves as a 27-year-old and they look like this?  Well then you’re either just a complete moron or some kind of dwarf.

Clean it up Myspace and get this kid off.

No responses yet



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