This guy’s another intervention piece. This is a letter to his parents: Guys, I don’t know. You seem to be good people. I’m sure you raised your son in an upstanding, proud, American manner. But he seems to be galivanting around town with the other tools and causing destructive behavior amongst upper class children.

Putting his name on flyers and promoting teen clubs are not the example he should be setting. This young man is on his way to failure. He’s going to be bringing this gel induced, tough guy attitude into college and one of two things will happen: Failing out because of selling ecstasy or getting severely beat up by a Southern fraternity.

Please give him a good shoe to the pants before he goes away to school.

Thanks

You know something? I’ll admit it. This is a pretty good looking guy. Matty Light probably gets women. There’s no doubt that he does. Matty Light has a crew. There’s no question about that.

Matty is from Massachusetts though? What is that about? Since when is this element spreading so quickly there? And how do you explain these pictures to your grand kids?
I’d have to think the blue collared “pahk the cahh” crowd wouldn’t really appreciate Matt and his Doggz showing up at Fenway wearing ass backwards Sox caps.

This article wast terrible

I like how there’s 10’s and 5’s in that pile. Straight Gangster

This entire post requires one line and one line only. It is taken from this…this thing’s Myspace Profile:

“mR.nEw y0Rk…dAh fLyeSt CREEP 0n da eASt+TANGiE”

Yes, whatever that means

“Yeah, ya def don’t party harder than me and the crew.” Wait a minute. Shouldn’t it have been “Da” crew? Come on buddy, if you’re going to grow up in the rich part of Westchester you should know that it’s “da” and not “the.”

After all, that’s what they do on the golf courses. Wear wifebeaters and flip flops. Didn’t you know that son? At least get your etiquette down. Well at least you learned one cardinal rule of rich people in NY.

Get a ton of hideous tattoos and advertise about how much drugs you do. That’s the way. Funny I’ve had it all wrong these years. Thanks for the help Mr. Douchepot.

I can write a 6 page article on why this guy is a total buttnut simply based on his title. AYO Mikey? And you’re from Westchester? Would a real ay oh, oh ay guy write that? No.
Would a real “hard” cat from the homeland in Italy write that? No. Would someone who makes a living by killing other people advertise their name that way? No. Would a half decent human being ever say this? No.

Is there any possible way that I can ever get it in my heart to respect or cherish a moment with this guy? Yes. That moment would be me shoeing him in the pants with a huge paddle.

AYO Mikey! Shut up dude.

iight ill start off by sayingg..this is my new myspacee …im dave…iim french and israeli… im cockyyyyy and i hope every1 loves itt cuz i do..if ur not pretty dont message me plzzz…to all u ppl who LOVE to talk shytttt …hahaha keep doinggg ittt…ur not gunna put me down cuz i can really give a f*ck..u wanna stay saying i have a disease ..that i wear makeup or all this bullshyt u say about me..it really doesnt effect my game wat so ever ..soo i hope all u GIRLs..GUyss kEEp flapPin ur mouthh…btw yoo all u herbs callig my cell blocked numberr

So there’s no reason to make fun of him huh….

I’m gonna go on record in saying that I actually felt bad for this guy for around 16 seconds. There’s no denying he’s one goofy looking dude. Almost to the extent where you’d think he might have a mental defect or physical abnormality.

However, once I saw the “Don’t ask me my name you stupid bitch, I’m famous” any inkling of remorse was tossed out the window. Johnny? You’re a tool. You’re an absolute tool. Your hair is a tool.

Your shirts are made my tools. Everything about you screams tool and if I saw you I’d take the nearest tool and smash up all the toolish things I saw on you.

Go run into a wall or something.

Look man I don’t care if this guy is Iranian or Pakistani. All I know is that I spent 16 seconds on his Myspace Profile before I felt the urge to puke. Did a modern nouveau art decorator come in and hit 17 buttons on the splatter crap page?

Is this guy trying to come off as a 14 year old who has to pose with his big brother’s BMW? And what’s with the lifting the shirt up bud?

You’re as skinny as Dave Chapelle when he’s playing that crackhead guy. I know Chappelle is skinny but it was funnier saying it that way.

Isa? Isa is a toola boxa