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Archive for the 'The Myspace Toolbox' Category

Dec 17 2010

15 Guys You Kind of Have to Want to Beat Up

Published by under Pictures,The Myspace Toolbox

Guys I want to Beat Up

This is actually a repost of something I did back in 2008 and I just had to post it again….

You’ve seen them. I’ve seen them. They walk around the streets every single day of our lives. It’s just guys you know that the second you see them you just want to beat the living crap out of them. And you know something? It’s not like you even know the guy. Hell he could be the nicest guy on the block.

But let me just refute that right there for all the naysayers. First impressions. Don’t first impressions count for anything? Well if my first impression of a guy is him wearing 6 earrings, enough grease in his hair to lube a Ferrari, and shirts that are far worse than anything Don Ho would wear, then well…I think I have a right to judge.

And judge I shall. Here are 15 dudes with whom I’d love nothing more than to beat up.

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Oct 26 2010

The Myspace Toolbox: Juanito Jones

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox

Part of me is glad that Juanito Jones AKA “F&*iin Famous” doesn’t have a description in his Myspace Profile and part of me is a little pissed off.  Reason being is that I don’t think that whatever I could make up would be even half as good as the crap this dude would insert in there.

This is the kind of guy where I’m not 100% certain if he’s straight or not.  Honestly it doesn’t matter because he seems quite douchey either way.  I don’t need to know this person to know that this picture means he’s a total homeboy.


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Oct 04 2010

The Myspace Toolbox: Kid Fresh Is One Easy Target

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox

Whats good ppl ; its ya boy Hect ; yes A.K.A. -> KidFresh. Hate on it, thats your problem. Well its been a while since i’ve been on here but, I’M BACK :) . So if you wanna talk or get to know me then its as easy as sendin’ me a comment or even a message. So don’t be shy & strangers and HIT ME UP ;)

I really think this is getting too easy.  Do I even having to comment?  Do I?  Seriously?  I don’t know man.  I just don’t know.  It’s just a sad state of affairs for our nation when the youth of today things it’s cool to spell wrong.  Like you’re not cool if you write properly.

And I assume this guy, Hector, thinks it’s awesome to be chubby and take pictures of himself at home.  As you’ll see below no picture is really all that different from the rest hence Hector is a moron and needs to grow up.

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Sep 29 2010

The Myspace Toolbox: Hardly Flawless

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox

As if this picture isn’t bad enough.  Do we really need to know which one it is?  Hardly.  But just so you guys are aware that these are real people I want to give you a small sample of our man Flawless here.

Wutts good The names Brennen, trust me you wont forget it. … I live in Danbury ct, madd WACK here butt i make due. I’m a chyll guy, always down to do w.e and meet new ppl….

Wait a minute.  This guy lives in Danbury, CT?  Do you think his parents are aware of his writing ability?  Deux thay no how mutch uf a more on theis guye ehs? All I can say is that I’m currently weeping for Danbury right now.

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Sep 28 2010

The Myspace Toolbox: Jonny is Not Vicious At All

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox

Ladies and gentlemen after countless days of a layoff it’s time to bring back one of the most popular segments this site has ever seen.  It’s The Myspace Toolbox.  For those of you who don’t remember this is me poking fun at all the tools that parade around Myspace.

Today we’ll be focusing on none other than Jonny Vicious.    Jonny is Asian yet somehow seems to be under the delusion that he’s Italian and a guido.  That and it appears that crappy spelling and catch phrases might get him chicks.    You know stuff like:  “You could flush me cuz I’m the shit.”

Actually I’d rather just flush you because you’re a complete tool but to go in line with your toilet humor I’d say you’re a turd.

More pictures and commentary  of Jonny after the jump

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Mar 24 2010

How Badly Do you Want to Beat These Guys Up?

Published by under Pictures,The Myspace Toolbox


You ever see a hot chick that’s with a guy and you just don’t understand how that is even possible?  You sit there and can only assume that the dude is rich.  On the flip side you see a cool looking dude with a chick that’s not all that attractive and wonder the same thing.  Want the answer?  It won’t make you feel any better but it’s the truth.

The world is full of morons.  That’s it.  That’s your answer.   So if you see a good looking guy with a not so good looking girl it more than likely means that the guy has zero tolerance for idiots, which most hot chicks are.  On the flip side, since hot girls are idiots they will fasten themselves to other idots hence all the mismatches you see in this world.

Still though, even knowing these truths won’t change the fact that I can’t stand seeing hot girls with punks like this.  Want some hateful examples?  Thought you’d never ask.

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2 responses so far

Nov 10 2009

They Have Stupid White Boy Gangster Wannabee Losers in Russia Too

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox

Russian Gangster Wannabe

As most of you know, one of the things I pride myself on is the ability to spot a complete tool that has nothing better to do than try to trick everyone into thinking he’s much cooler than he his.  Part of this deception involves wearing multiple earrings, making ridiculous hand gestures, pouting lips, and even alluding to the fact that he’s part of the mob (which a real mobster would never do).

And while I kind of knew this didn’t just happen here in the U.S. I was hoping that it didn’t.  I was wrong….very wrong.  Turns out in Russia there a bigger and way more dorkier contingent of these gangster would be douchebags.

Luckily for you I have a gallery of these putzes.

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3 responses so far

Oct 21 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: If You Don’t Want to Punch This Kid, You’re Wrong

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox

Straight G

He’s 16.  He calls himself Italian Gangsta.

Let’s get something straight.   I don’t condone child abuse.  I really don’t.  But while this kid is still under the care of his parents, I think senior Gangsta should step in there with his own bat and beat the living crap out of his little punk son.

Just a word of advice.  That’s all.


Straight G Straight G

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Oct 20 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Am I Allowed to Make Fun of a Gay Guy?

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox


Despite the fact that this particular gay man can probably whoop my ass?  Yeah, I’m allowed.

“Have you been on the slide at club USA?  It’s…intense.” 

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Oct 19 2009

The Myspace Toolbox: Da Real Ginny, What Does That Mean?

Published by under The Myspace Toolbox


Honestly folks is there anything other than this picture worth mentioning?  This kid Vinny, or Da Real Ginny, or whatever he calls himself, actually took the time to set up this picture.

He took the picture.  He put it onto his computer and then uploaded it to his Myspace Page.  Then he actually features it on his page because it’s supposed to look good?

I’m obviously doing something very wrong with my life.


Ginny Ginny Ginny

One response so far



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