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Apr 23 2014

Gentleman’s Club Doubles as a Church

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Just in case you were wondering, you did in fact read that title correctly….

A gentleman’s club in Guelph, Ontario, is holding church services right on the stage next to the stripper pole. The Manor, as the club is called, held services for the first time on Easter. Jack Ninaber and his wife Sharon decided they would host a Christian fellowship service at the unconventional space in order to bring religion to those who don’t feel comfortable seeking it out, CTV reports. [Continue Reading]

It’s a thoughtful idea by Mr. and Mrs. Ninaber. Really, we appreciate them trying to bring religion to the degenerates of the world, but really unnecessary. I would have loved to see this congregation though. Were the strippers present? Awful.

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Apr 22 2014

Teen Who Asked Miss America to Prom Suspended from School

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A Pennsylvania high school student is in hot water for asking Miss America to prom during a question and answer session at school. Eighteen-year-old Patrick Farves said he received three days of in-school suspension Thursday because he asked Nina Davuluri to prom. The senior at Central York High School stood up and popped the prom question, then walked to the stage with a plastic flower. Davuluri just laughed and the students cheered. School officials heard about Farves’ plan in advance and warned him not to do it. He has apologized for disrupting the event. [Continue Reading]

Once again we’re denying the dreams and visions of our youth. If I’m this kid I do this ten times out of ten. Worst case scenario you get in the news like this and you’re linked to Miss America. Not a bad consolation price.

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Apr 18 2014

Boy Found Safe Inside Claw Crane Machine

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According to the Omaha World-Herald, police in Lincoln, Neb., received a call Monday from a woman who said her son had slipped out of their apartment through an unlocked door while she was in the bathroom.

Fortunately, mother and son were soon reunited after patrons at a nearby bowling alley spotted the toddler sitting inside a claw machine. Details as to how the boy got into the machine are scarce; however, children have previously managed to climb their way into claw machines through the prize chute. [Continue Reading]

This is actually an incredible story. Not only did the kid sneak out, he managed to get to a bowling alley, then get into a claw machine. Imagine being a little kid in a claw machine. That’s like paradise. Still something awfully creepy about it.

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Apr 17 2014

This is One Contest NO Man Wants to Win

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It’s time, once again, to make the little things count. The “Smallest Penis Contest,” a nutty competition which debuted last year, will return to Brooklyn’s Kings County Bar on June 14.

Per a media release, contestants will be judged in multiple categories, including “poise in both evening wear and bathing wear.” In addition to a cash prize (which can optionally be donated to charity), a “wee crown and scepter” will be awarded to the less-endowed man best exhibiting “extraordinary heart, talent, and chutzpa.” [Continue Reading]

I’ve been trying to figure out a reason why to enter this contest if your “small”. Seriously, I know you should embrace what God has given you but I cannot see one good reason for this to work out in a positive manner.

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Apr 16 2014

This Fish Ate What?!

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DWP Dildo Discovered In Fish

Bjørn Frilund, 64, is a master baiter in his local village of Eidsbygda, Norway. He was slacking his line one morning when his attention got tugged to one of the cod in his fishing nets, according to the photo database WENN.

He quickly inserted his knife into the fish’s orifices, and found a big, pink sex toy. He swears it wasn’t his — the fish probably thought the dildo was a small octopus, and ate it, Frilund maintains. The fish was filleted and given away, while the dildo remains at Frilund’s house. [Continue Reading]

Well, that stinks to be that fish. I mean talk about the humiliation and ridicule this fish is going to face when he gets back in the water. His friends won’t talk to him, his parents will disown him – just for one little mistake. It’s sad.

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Apr 14 2014

The Squirrel That Caused $300,000 Worth of Damage

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Officials say a wayward squirrel caused about $300,000 in damage to an eastern Indiana community center set to open in June. Fort Wayne Parks Department officials say the squirrel got into the electrical equipment of the building in McMillen Park last week, causing a power surge that damaged the heating and air conditioning systems and some parts of the boiler system. The squirrel didn’t survive. [Continue Reading]

Because no one was hurt we can say – what a way to go out for this squirrel. Think about it – if you’re a squirrel you live a relatively pointless existence collecting nuts and avoiding traffic. What’s worse if most people can’t recognize you from the next guy – why not go down in a blaze of glory?

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Apr 07 2014

Alcohol-Free Bars at the New Bars in the U.K.

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All the nightlife, hold the hangover. That’s the pitch behind a growing number of alcohol-free bars springing up in the U.K. Skyy News reports that the increasing popularity of the establishments, often funded by anti-alcoholism charities, could signal a change in attitude amongst English youth.

The number of people, aged 25-44, who said they had had a drink in the previous week dropped from 74% to 63% for men and from 62% to 50% for women, between 2005 and 2012.

Well, I didn’t see this one coming – especially not from the U.K., but what do we know. As someone who has survived their hardcore drinking days I’m all for the no hangover.

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Apr 04 2014

Cheetos Perfume Will Ruin Everything You Love About Cheetos

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Brands everywhere are finding stupid, hilarious new ways to freshen up their tired products and get outlets like The Huffington Post to write positive reviews about them. Cheetos is not one of those brands. Its new “Cheeteau” perfume — yes, perfume that’s supposed to smell like Cheetos — flies in the face of real brand innovation. Taco Bell had Doritos Locos Tacos and now breakfast. Pizza Hut had the perfume idea more than a year ago. Most of all, “it’s nauseating” is the best review “Cheeteau” received at our office. [Continue Reading]

Who thinks of this stuff? You know when your brilliant idea becomes a gag gift you’re an epic failure. Period. (I’m pretty sure this is a gag gift for the record – if it’s not – lord help us. The fact I’m not sure is a problem).

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Apr 03 2014

Reactions to Eating the World’s Hottest Pepper are Awesome

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It used to be cool to embarrass yourself by eating a ghost pepper on camera and crying on YouTube. Now those videos are just shameful. The new hot sheriff in town is the Carolina Reaper, and it’s still kicking our asses two days after we tried it. Guinness World Records again dubbed Smokin’ Ed’s Carolina Reaper the hottest chile in the world at the NYC Hot Sauce Expo over the weekend. It measures well over 1.5 million on the Scoville Scale — for reference, Tobasco tops out at 1,200 Scoville units — and its heat causes numbing of the hands and a rush of endorphins. [Continue Reading]

As someone who has zero tolerance for spicy foods this scares the daylights out of me. This would seriously disrupt my life for at least a week. God bless those who tried it!

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Apr 01 2014

7 Unconventionally Awesome Ways to Deal with a Break Up

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A man and a woman on a pier

Everyone knows there are classic ways to deal with those “please rip my heart out and let me die” breakup scenarios: a little pillow crying, a week-long stint in pajamas, or a night spent with Jose Cuervo. But there are also some not-so-classic things you can do to kick the breakup blues, too. Below, you’ll find seven totally unconventional things people have done to get over their exes in the past. (And no, we absolutely don’t recommend you try them all at home.)

[Click this link to see some awesome ways]

Listen, these ways are creative, but the best way to get over a break up is just go workout, play sports, go out with buddies or girlfriends, get hammered, have a good time, and bang someone else. It works I swear.

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