NBC has signed shock jock Howard Stern to replace Piers Morgan on its summer talent competition series, “America’s Got Talent,” as the network struggles to climb out of the fourth-place ratings hole in which it has been mired for years. NBC stepped on its own Golden Globe Awards nominations unveiling Thursday morning when it announced minutes later that it had closed a deal for Stern to serve as the new judge on the country’s top-rated summer series, one of few ratings bright spots on the network’s prime-time landscape.

It’s going to be hard for me to comment on this when I don’t watch the show. I will say this; the presence of Stern makes me consider watching the show, but it ends there. I hope someone told the guy this is a PG show, and women won’t be showing their sexual talents. What can I say; kind of a (yawner) today for the Uncoached news. It was this or politics. As an aside, the fact that Stern is still married to Beth Ostrosky is one of the 8 Wonders of the World.

TIME magazine revealed the 2011 choice for its iconic Person of the Year cover live on TODAY Wednesday. The Protester is this year’s choice, managing editor Rick Stengel told Matt Lauer and Ann Curry. As it has for the past 84 years, the weekly newsmagazine selected the person (or sometimes group, or thing) that its editors deemed had the single greatest impact during the past year, for better or for worse.

Winston Churchill, Martin Luther King Jr., Ghandi, and now ‘The Protester’. What… the…. f? Has ‘The Protester’ “catalyzed global revolution”? Really? I know everyone and their mother has been protesting, but really?  If you look into it, Time Magazine had the shortest, crappiest list of people in the running for this award. Kate Middleton, yeah she’s pretty hot. What a bad year for ‘Persons’. We really need to step it up in 2012 or we’ll be looking at Lindsay Lohan on the cover of this issue.

Mikhail Prohkorov, the Russian billionaire who owns the New Jersey Nets basketball team, announced he would challenge Vladimir Putin for the presidency in March, a sign of how quickly the political landscape has shifted since parliamentary elections widely criticized as having been rigged. A public outcry against results of the Dec. 4 vote has presented Putin, long Russia’s strongest leader, with a sudden problem: The protest by tens of thousands of people in Moscow on Saturday was the largest demonstration in the city since the collapse of the Soviet Union 20 years ago. Many suggest Prohkorov’s announcement was made as a plot to defuse these protests, but that is speculation at this time.

I feel like I’m watching an episode of ‘Pinky and the Brain’ right now. Mikhail what do you want to do today, “Try and take over the world”. Talk about having everything… Good heavens. Proks is trying to take over the world! First an NBA team, and now Presidency of Russia. What’s next; buying the Pittsburgh Pirates?? There is some next level sh$t going on in Russia. I wouldn’t want that Presidency if it meant I could make Brooklyn Decker my first lady… Actually, let me rethink that one.

I never quite understood the whole ‘Ugly Christmas Sweater‘ tradition. I do understand that it’s incredibly popular. They even have websites that sell ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters‘. I need some info people because ‘Ugly Christmas Sweaters’ are one of the hottest things going right now.

I just don’t get it man. If you’re a single dude and you find the ugliest fuggin’ sweater on the planet does that give you more sex-appeal? Why not start a tradition with ‘Nice Christmas Sweaters’ or ‘Elegant Christmas Sweaters’. After all, it is Christmas, which is suppose to be a magical, loving, beautiful holiday. I don’t think ugly sweaters were meant to be a part of this celebration.

I’m going to need some feedback on this one. Is it fun? Do you get laid? Is it worth buying a sweater you’re going to wear once a year? Do people go, “Holy sh$t dude, you’re sweater is Ugly. You rule man”. I’m lost in a sea of ugliness someone clue me in.

Bobby went down in a blaze of glory. Bob Vander Weide, 50, has made the decision to step down as CEO of the Orlando Magic. The rumor is that his wife (the daughter of Rich Devos who owns Amway and the Orlando Magic) hired an investigator to check in on Bobby. Apparently,  he’s been cheating for a while and just got caught. It doesn’t end there… Before he ended his show, the guy called Dwight Howard at 1 am in the morning after he’d been drinking to tell the star how much he wanted him to stay in Orlando.

I think it’s important to note the fact that this dude was going to inherit the Orlando Magic one day. Talk about screwing the pooch, literally. You know the guy was cheating when he cites the old “I’m retiring to spend more time with my family” line. That translates into “I need to clean up this mess I made with my family”. If you’re going down in a blaze of glory you mine as well drunk dial one of the skanks you’re cheating on your wife with, not Dwight Howard dude.

NASA announced a major milestone in the quest for life in the universe Monday: The discovery of another planet close enough to the sun it orbits to potentially support life. Called Kepler-22b, the planet is about 2.4 times the radius of Earth and about 600 light-years away. And it orbits in the “habitable zone,” the region of space just far enough from a star that liquid water could exist on the planet’s surface — a discovery could have profound implications in the quest for alien life, said Alan Boss, an astrophysicist with Carnegie Melon University.

I can’t figure out if this is awesome of terrifying. Scientists are saying that there is a legit possibility of life forms on this planet. My first reaction was excitement that we could potentially ship some of the 7 Billion idiots on planet earth onto this new planet, but now I’m terrified. I’m thinking there’s going to be some kind of Intergalactic War. How much crap have you hear about aliens in your lifetime? It’s all fun and games to produce movies like Independence Day, Aliens, etc. until we find out these dudes really do exist and they’re after our women. Enjoy Earth while you can people.

Rima Fakih won Miss America last year. And people want to question President Obama’s United States citizenship? Just saying….. Either way, I thought this was rather interesting. If you watch this video, it opens with Rima is such an outstanding citizen, and she sold her car to get to the pageant. (Tear)

Now the IRONY. I guess she bought a new car because she was arrested for drunk driving last weekend. If they can strip Barry Bonds and Mark McGwire from the record books, I say we take Rima off the list of past Miss America winners. She’s not repping  our country the right way. Get rid of her.

If this isn’t the number one holiday gift idea, then someone invented a Time Machine before last minute shopping ended. There is absolutely nothing that says “I love you” better then getting your significant other a Personalized Rubik’s Cube. It’s the gift that keeps giving.

I don’t get why people want cars, appliances, or even gift cards. That sh$t is lame. The only problem with a Personalized Rubik’s Cube holiday gift is…. if you give it to someone of my intelligence, I will never see my girlfriends face intact again on that thing.

Behold, one of the best movie spy shots in history. Daniel Day Lewis was spotted eating at a restaurant by an intrepid fan with a really good camera.

He’s in full costume for Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln movie, and this is the first shot of him that’s been seen by the public.

What do you think about the look for Lewis here? A bit creepy yeah, but totally accurate I’d say.