Archive for the 'News' Category

Feb 09 2012

If Rick Santorum Gets Elected President I’m Moving To Afghanistan

Published by Norty under News

US presidential hopeful Rick Santorum has hailed his hat-trick of caucus and primary wins, saying his campaign now has crucial momentum – and more cash. In an interview with CNN, Mr Santorum said he had raised $250,000 in one night, after beating Mitt Romney, Newt Gingrich and Ron Paul. He vowed to campaign hard in states voting in February and early March, and said his team was well-organized.

The recent developments in the Republican Presidential Candidate Race have me scared out of my mind. I am literally petrified that this homophobic deuche bag could be our next president. Is this seriously what it has come to? What the f$ck happened to this country? We’ve had presidents like Washington, Roosevelt, Jefferson, and Lincoln and now we have these dudes? What happened – somebody tell me…

3 responses so far


Feb 02 2012

The Creator of Soul Train Committed Suicide at Age 75?

Published by Norty under News

Don Cornelius, the producer and television host who created the dance show “Soul Train,” was found shot dead in his Los Angeles home early Wednesday morning in what appears to be a suicide, the Los Angeles Police Department and the county coroner’s office said. He was 75 years old.  “Soul Train” was one of the longest-running syndicated shows in television history and played a critical role in spreading the music of black America to the world, offering wide exposure to musicians like James Brown, Aretha Franklin and Michael Jackson in the 1970s and 1980s.

Don Cornelius may have to be considered one of the coolest dudes in the history of television. The whole committing suicide thing is awfully confusing, especially at age 75. I can understand a level of depression setting in after the sails set on “Soul Train”, but this is Don Cornelius. He had a hot white wife with fake boob. The Don, damn what is this world coming to.

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Feb 01 2012

Facebook Is Going Public?

Published by Norty under News

Any day now, perhaps as early as today, Facebook will announce it is going public. The firm is looking to raise $10bn selling shares in an initial public offering (IPO) that will value the firm at somewhere between $75bn-$100bn, according to reports. Not bad for a seven-year-old firm that has only recently started making money and apparently made $1bn last year. It will be the biggest tech IPO since Google, and investors (and rivals) will finally get to see what makes Mark Zuckerberg‘s social network.

It’s hard to comprehend this when everyone knows Mark Zuckerberg is worth $18 billion. However, Facebook has a lot of investors they’d like to pay off. Furthermore, they are simply raising capital to BUY THE WORLD. Look at Google – they bought YouTube, etc. As much as we’d like to think Facebook is this company that can buy whatever they want, they still need to raise money if they wish to attack other endeavors.. I know, I’m (yawning) too as I type this…

 

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Jan 31 2012

Official 2012 Honda CR-V Game Day Commercial – “Matthew’s Day Off” Extended Version: What Would Other Celebrities Do?

Published by Norty under News

Honda brought back Ferris Bueller to celebrate the launch of the new 2012 Honda CR-V. It really got me thinking that no one takes a day off for a true life experience anymore. All we do is take days off to sit on the couch and relax or maybe even run some errands. It’s pathetic. What do you think other celebrities would do on a day off?

Tim Tebow – Go to church, and help out the less fortunate
Kim Kardashian – Sleep with a black athlete, get engaged, married, and divorced in one day
Lebron James – Try and figure out “What should I do?”
Prince FielderHit up a fast food joint with Miggy Cabrera, maybe throw in a beer or two
Sidney Crosby
Recover from a concussion years ago (poor form by me)
Alex Rodriguez
Go to Gold’s Gym and look for a date, preferably blonde, big biceps
Justin Biebs
Probably knock some groupie up, then try and cover it up so he doesn’t lose Selena
Rick Santorum
Go to Mass, persecute some homosexuals, get lunch, hate on homosexuals, repeat
Brooklyn Decker
Just stare in the mirror at herself, and wonder why she picked a declining tennis player for a husband.

What you would do? Make it good!

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Jan 30 2012

Actress Sanaa Lathan Speaketh the Truth On Kobe Bryant Rumors

Published by Norty under News

A rumor that Sanaa Lathan was messing with Kobe Bryant while he and Vanessa were married, prompted the “Disappearing Acts” actress to respond to the media. She tweeted a short but direct message to her followers saying..

“Anybody who pays attention knows I’m not his type… Blank stare. #blackgirlsrock #dontbelievethelies.”

She added that the NBA star would never date her because she was black. Now she’s been apologizing to everyone and their mother for making that comment. Sweetheart, you have nothing to apologize for… Sometimes the truth hurts. If anyone deserves to be put in their place it’s Kobe Bryant. In defense of Kobe, he can date whoever he wants, and I am getting a sense of bitterness from Ms. Lathan on the fact Kobe has no love for black chicks. Kobe linking up with a white chick is about as sure of a thing as there ever was..

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Jan 25 2012

There’s a “State of the Union” Drinking Game?

Published by Norty under News

So, to assist you on your adventures with recreational binge drinking, we have prepared for you the official Huffington Post State of the Union drinking game. In preparing this, we’ve done our best to account for the sorts of things that are likely to happen, as far as what the president will say, what goals he’ll announce, what accomplishments he’ll cite, and what part of the pageantry the camera is likely to capture. We’ve watched a lot of these addresses, so we have a good idea about what is probably going to happen. We also have a good idea as to what will probably not happen. But, as always, these addresses can often feature unexpected moments that get talked about for days after the address.

You have to hit the link to read the rules [State of the Union Drinking Rules]. Look, I don’t want to be a d-bag but this game sucks. It’s way to complicated. Not to mention, I can’t see a group of college kids sitting around the TV watching the State of the Union going, “He said work to help revitalize the US manufacturing sector!” It’s a helluva an effort, and probably took a good deal of research, but stick to the basics.

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Jan 24 2012

Jay Cutler Finally Threw Something That Connected

Published by Norty under News

While Kristin Caval­lari’s pregnancy came as a surprise to the reality TV personality and fiance Jay Cutler, a source very close to Cavallari said Monday that the couple are “almost giddy” with joy about the prospect of becoming parents. Though it’s possible the couple’s wedding may now be moved up — before the baby’s birth — that isn’t definite. “So many couples have kids first and then marry afterward, there isn’t the pressure to [get married] as much these days,” added the first source. Despite the on-again-off again nature of Cavallari and Cutler’s relationship, those close to the duo insist the “hiatus” in their engagement turned out to be an excellent idea.

It should come as no surprise that Jay Cutler’s “gameplan” didn’t work out in terms of father hood. The guy couldn’t run a “gameplan” of successfully trimming his pubes. One has to feel bad for Kristin Cavallari – the girl is now locked into this asshat for life. What a surprise; another retarded girl from that Laguna Beach show in the news for being retarded. If you think this marriage is going to last you’re smoking some Sam Hurd sh$t.

2 responses so far


Jan 20 2012

Kobe Bryant: The Black Mamba Has A New Bachelor Pad That Will Render Women Helpless

Published by Norty under News

Los Angeles Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant may be about to lose half his riches in his divorce, but at least he’ll be able to rest easy knowing he has a stable roof over his head. Actually, he’s going to have a giant roof over his head at all times. According to TMZ, Kobe’s new mansion in Orange County is now ready for occupancy. It cost him nearly $9.5 million and two years’ worth of construction time, but he is free to move in at his earliest convenience. TMZ doesn’t have many details to offer about Kobe’s new digs, but we do know that it has at least six bedrooms and a two-level “sport court.”

Bachelor Pad is putting this one politely. This has the makings of a reality show on Cinemax after midnight. You think about the amount of women that are about to run through this joint, and you’ll get nauseous. Then again, Kobe could be reformed, and may not be interested in that sort of thing….Anyway, I’m still waiting for the Kobe and Kim Kardashian rumors to pick up steam.

No responses yet


Jan 19 2012

Dez Bryant and Lil’ Wayne Throwdown!

Published by Norty under News

In a report Tuesday, we learned that the altercation between Bryant and another club patron may have started when said patron began hurling insults at Bryant, based on the Dallas Cowboys’ receiver’s on-field performance as well as his debt issues, which came into the public eye around a year ago. Which brings us to today. We had heard earlier that the altercation may have involved a “famous rapper.” Then just a few hours ago, David Smiley, a reporter for the Miami New Times, tweeted that Lil Wayne may have been that rapper, citing a source with the Miami Beach Police Department.

Do you think you would ever see the day where you’d be taking Lil’ Wayne’s side in a nightclub altercation? Dez Bryant is a d-bag of epic proportions. The guy is ridiculous. I wouldn’t want that headache on my team. Another classic case of a guy with a ton of talent that will be held back by his bullsh$t.

One response so far


 
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