I think almost every guy has said to himself at some point “I’d marry her if she asked me” when referring to a certain female celebrity.  It’s a fun game we all play in our heads and it’s nice to dream about what life might be like with one of these women.

But in all honesty it would probably be pretty annoying.  But what if you could marry a celebrity without all the fuss of having to attend premieres, being followed around all the time by the paparazzi, and virtually having no private life?

What if she were your virtual sex slave, barely spoke any English, no hassle of too much attention and was there are your beck and call?  Yes, women like this exist:  Mail order brides that look like some of the hottest female celebrities.

Check them out after the jump

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Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Javier Bardem

I have to say I’m getting a little sick and tired of celebrity look a like pages where there’s not even a hint of look a like going on.  People say that two people look a like simply from the fact that they may be making the same face in a picture.

That doesn’t mean shit.  I like pictures where two people actually look a like.

And these are ten celebrity pairings that fit that bill…

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Reading about how Steve Nash was recognized at a pick up game in China made me realize how much this guy looks like Kelly from Bad News Bears.

“I had on a Chinese opera bandana and I had on some protective goggles,” Nash told the AFP, laughing.

“As soon as I walked on they recognized me. It didn’t really work.”

The article failed to mention a group of 500 Chinese people then chanting “let them play! let them play!”

It happens all the time.  People look like other people.  Well, not always.  Sometimes those people look like inanimate objects.  On occasion they look like video game characters.  When you’re lucky they wind up looking like animals.

But nothing’s more fun than the celebrity look-alike.  I mean who cares about total strangers looking like stuff?

It’s been a while since I’ve scrolled the pages of Totally Looks Like to find the latest batch of celebrity look-alikes.  But…..

Here they are Continue Reading »

As I watched Zack and Miri Make a Porno for the first time last night (which sucked by the way) I couldn’t stop staring at pornstar Katie Morgan.  And not because I was in any way attracted to her.  It was because I kept trying to figure out who she looked like.

Sure enough when my crappy fantasy baseball Tim Lincecum trade finally went through I realized that these two had to have been separated at birth.  You put a on wig, give Lincy some makeup and bam.  You’ve got yourself Katie Morgan.

Afterall look at the last three letters of Timmy’s last name.  The guy was born for stud pictures.

So for all you ladies out there who love Nick Jonas.  Just remember one thing.  He looks a hell of a lot like the dude from Young Sherlock Holmes (whose name also happens to be Nicholas, Nicholas Rowe that is).

And while that might kind of look like a cutie pie picture of Jonas holding a pipe, this is what Rowe looks like now.

So just remember that when you’re trying to get Nick to take off that virgin ring or whatever the hell thing he wears.  He just might try to corn cob pipe you up the ass or something.

More pictures

A few weeks ago I brought you five pictures of baseball players that should probably be wiped off the books.  Well, as the fantasy season trolls on and my team continues to fight, I’m always scanning the player profiles for things out of the ordinary.

I just happened to stumble across another 6 profile pictures that were noteworthy of a making fun of session.

Enjoy

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I’m not going to lie.  I’m 99% sure my penis is half the size of its already putrid self.  I wound up watching 10 minutes of the movie Sex and the City last night.  And oddly enough it was even worse than the “I think this may be the worst movie ever” I had already thought it to be.

However, through our hell comes our heaven.  And an epiphany came to me.  I know we all get the whole Sarah Jessica Parker horse thing.  Frankly it’s really mean.  It’s kind of true, yes, but it’s really mean.  But this call isn’t mean at all.  Why?  Because it’s fact.

It dawned on me that she looks exactly like the kid from Real Genius (an amazing movie by the way).  His real name is Gabriel Jarret.  I mean come on.  This is ridiculous right?  They’re nearly identical.  And it even works when you turn back the clock.

You can definitely see the resemblance in the movie Real Genius

I noticed this thing a long time ago and I simply never brought it to anyone’s attention, but can you believe the resemblance of these two?  And this isn’t to make fun of either but both Russell Brand and Luis Scola have got that “missing link” thing going on don’t they?

I’m not 100% sure what’s up with Scola’s face though.  I’ve never been quite certain if he has scarring, a birth defect, or it’s just his teeth.  It might also be all of the above.  Either way, guy has been solid in the playoffs and he’s a very good player for the Rockets.

Brand on the other hand?  I just think Brand is a complete wacko and could easily look normal if he wanted to.

In any event these guys are definitely long lost brothers.

As I watched Derek Lowe dismantle the Phillies lineup last night (and then nearly soil myself because I have Mike Gonzalez on my fantasy team), I realized something kind of obvious that I had realized before.  The man looks a hell of a lot like Steven Seagal.

Other than Lowe getting a haircut and looking a bit cleaned up, you can’t deny that both of these guys kind of have that eskimo face look.  I don’t know Lowe’s antics off the field or if he’s some kind of monk, but I would really love to see both of these guys on camera together.

Mainly just to watch Seagal punch someone in the face who looks just like him and say something along the lines of “I don’t have a brother, f&^k you for telling me you’re my brother.”