This guy is insane.

As we roll out this weekend stuff, I figured I’d add a “question of the week” to the mix. What better way to start than thinking of the NFL draft guru Mel Kiper?

First off, I love the hair. Mel kind of looks a villain in a comic book movie. Second, I love the enthusiasm. No one should be this into college football, no one. But you gotta respect it.

So this leads to my first question of the week. Given there are 365 days in the year and Mel is preparing for one of those days the other 364 days in the year, how many of those 364 days does Mel spend masturbating to college football?

Over under is 182 days. All comments welcome.

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Come on Preston, you’re better than that

According to the Seattle Times, “Wide receiver Preston Parker’s future at Florida State is in doubt after he was arrested Tuesday and charged with carrying a concealed weapon and possession of marijuana.”

OK that’s fine and all but did you know how hard a time I had finding pictures on this guy? Little did I know that Preston Parker is a male porn star.

I unfortunately had to sift through naked well endowed pictures of the white Preston Parker, just to get you three lame football shots of the FSU receiver Preston Parker.

I hope you guys know how hard I work on this damned site.

For full coverage on athlete’s being arrested you can always check out “Cuff ‘Em” at my buddy Joe’s Busted Coverage.

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Nothing wrong with a little sideshow to get the players “excited.”

As the Rutgers Football team gears up for 2008 by working their asses off on the field, it would seem they might have some off the field plans as well.

While it could be a banner year for the football squad, it appears that the Scarlet Knight is about to make a bid for the “getting the most ass” Mascot in the NCAA. The cheerleaders are already on board saying “6 hummers down, 600 to go, this guy is a stud.”

And with a face like that, the Scarlet Knight is all business. “Nothing’s stopping me from plowing the whole damned league.” Fans and cheerleaders are excited.  The current record is held by the USC Trojan (for obvious reasons).

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As the spring games continue, and the cheerleaders get their pom poms in tip top shape, there’s also another group preparing for another season of college football: the tailgaters.

While the Pete Caroll’s of the world are writing up plays, pumping up their players and yucking it up with Alumni, there are countless pitchers being chugged, shots being poured, and garbage cans being filled with vomit in an effort to get these party goers into tip top drinking condition.

And this is why I decided to dedicate an entire segment to one of America’s favorite growing past times: The Tailgate. Folks, feel free to send in your tailgate pictures to uncoached@gmail.com. I’m always looking for talent.

In the mean time, enjoy these shots.

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This picture is priceless: Individual accountant ad in the background, mascot, cheerleaders AND kids dancing, two players in the endzone DURING a touchdown.

When I got a load of these pictures from a Louisville Fire Arena Football game, it definitely made me realize that the state of “minor league football” is far worse than that of baseball.

At least in baseball, funny gimmicks and sideshows are saved for between innings. Not at Louisville Arena.

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