Trust us, we’re not the most punctual people around.

No matter where you’re trying to go, if we tell you we’ll be somewhere by seven, chances are pretty high that you won’t see our ass till about 8:30.

It’s gotten so bad that we don’t even need to come up with an good excuse to tell friends and family why we’re late because they just expect it.

But just because they turn a cheek to it now doesn’t mean we haven’t had our fair share of terrible excuses, which we’re giving you here today.

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In sports, every organization tends to toss around the title of “franchise guy” way too frequently.

Sure, there are dudes like LeBron, Verlander or Tom Brady that deserve the praise, but all too often we find that just because a guy gets paid like a stud, doesn’t mean he actually is one.

That’s why we’re giving you eight athletes who might make serious bank, but fans should be wary about expecting them to lead their team to a title anytime soon.

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If you ask us what one of our fears is, we’re pretty open with the fact that using a public bathroom is up there.

For so many reasons—mostly internal ones—we hate the thoughts that race through our mind about what other people may assume while taking that long stroll to the single-stalled room.

As we sit here holding in what our body really wants to let out, we’ll tell you some of the worst things that could possibly go wrong if we actually can’t take it any longer and decide to use a restaurant’s facilities.

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Rebuilding. It’s a word that no sports fan ever want to hear, but unfortunately, have to accept every once in awhile.

While the process in itself is a complete crapshoot, with front offices wondering whether or not building through the draft, potentially overspending on free agents or cutting popular vets is the way to go, fans need to remain patient that the guys getting paid for those decisions will make the right ones.

These are the teams that should expect to be in that position very soon.

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There’s a saying that reminds everyone that “breaking up is hard to do,” but just because you’ve spent weeks, months or even years with someone doesn’t mean you owe them anything.

It’s not that waving goodbye should mean you need to be a dick, but having constant communication and thinking about each other definitely isn’t healthy.

That’s why we’re giving you eight things to always avoid when you’re newly single, because trust us, these will only make things a hell of a lot worse.

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Sorry to seem like we’re harping on this whole NFL draft thing—we admit we may be going a little overboard here—but the draft is one of the most anticipated things in all of sports, so we must give it due cred.

From guys who didn’t work out, to players who came out of nowhere based on their round selected, it’s classic water cooler talk.

This year’s no different, which is why we’re giving you the six guys who landed in the worst spot—so avoid picking them up for your fantasy team next year.

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With the NFL draft going on this weekend, sports fans are doing what they can to analyze every single selection that teams are doing.

But since we only get a couple sports drafts a year, we’ve thought about some other things that would be cool to have a draft.

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Sure, there’s plenty to talk about today after the NFL’s First Round wrapped-up last night, but seeing that the remaining six rounds will still occupy us through the weekend, we’ll give our thoughts on Monday.

Besides all the draft coverage though, the big news for football fans was the announcement that former Lions RB Barry Sanders will grace the cover of the greatest sports video game ever.

Thank God it was him, because we couldn’t have stood to see any of these six guys be named as cover boy.

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Winning the lottery would be great, wouldn’t it?

It’d seemingly solve all your problems, while giving you the chance to make everyone know you mean business each time you walked into a bar or restaurant because, well, you have that cake.

Just because you’re loaded now though, doesn’t make you any smarter with how you spend your money, so remember to hire a financial analyst so you don’t blow it on any of these things.

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Trust us, while thinking up a piece for this morning, we were really, really, tempted to giving you our top-10 mock draft.

But while we were watching Sportscenter, it came to us, “We’re not Mel Kiper Jr. or Todd McShay, nor do we expect you to want to read another boring prediction that will be way off, so let’s change it up a bit.”

That’s what we’re doing here, so hopefully you feel a little bit of what some of these guys do while waiting to hear their name called.

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