The only reason I use heterosexual male in my title here is because I’m referring to the typical reader of this site.  Most of you guys out there are between 18-40 years old, single, and heterosexual.   At least that’s what my demographics are saying.

So by no means is this any knock on homosexuals.  I have zero problem with that and have plenty of gay friends.  I just felt the need to write this article because boy have I met some square dudes in my day.

And for the life of me I simply can’t understand how unfunny some people can be.

Continue Reading »

Of all the things you’d create a website for, this guy goes out and buys, in my opinion, a fantastic domain name.  It’s called My Wife Said No.   Just think of all the possibilities he could have had using this name.  Dude, I hope you’re reading this because my ideas are genius.

Instead of having a cool blog filled with funny stuff that his wife said no to, the guy focuses on the fact that his wife didn’t get him a Wii for Christmas?  Really?  Dude, you could have a post going up every single day saying stuff like “she didn’t take it in the butt last night” and have an entire account of the incident.  I’d read it.

He’ll I’d even read something along the lines of “My Wife didn’t let me leave her in-laws house until 4PM even though I said I really wanted to get out of there at 3.  Buddy, baby, boobie, get your act together and entertain us.

Who cares about the fact you didn’t get a video game console?  Clean it up loser.

Any male that doesn’t think that’s scary is weird

Just bear with me while I get this off my chest.  Let’s get something straight.  I like chicks who are in shape.  I love when girls are thin.  I even love the bodies that are so unrealistic that it pisses off 99% of the female population.  Look, I know that bodies of girls like Keeley Hazell and Lucy Pinder don’t really exist in the real world.  But I also know that being overweight certainly isn’t a good thing.

If anything it’s about health.  But where in the world did the perception of “weigh less than 100lbs, look like you’re in a concentration camp, and you’re beautiful” kick into place?  And I’m sorry that I used a Holocaust reference but it’s true.  I mean if I’m staring at ribs the whole time, it’s just not what I had envisioned when painting a picture of an attractive woman in my head.

And am I saying that girls should weigh 150 lbs while standing 5 ft tall?  Of course not.  But someone’s gotta draw the line on these runway models.  They’re practically dissolved into the air.  It’s just gross man.

Thank you for your time

Ah yes, the beginning of a relationship.  The birds are singing, the coffee tastes better in the morning, and there’s such excitement in the air.  You’ve never been this happy.  You’ve never had this much sex.  You’ve never realized how much hope there is in the world.   You’re so thankful that you’ve found the perfect woman.

Oh me.  Then comes the part where the honeymoon phase (first 3-6 months) ends.  All of a sudden sex isn’t new sex.  Little things start to get on your nerves and this perfect specimen you once dated isn’t so perfect anymore.

What do you find out?  She’s actually a human being!  Oh my Lord what is wrong with the world?   And once she knows that you know,  she lets the statements fly.  And here are 5 of them that you just don’t hear during that honeymoon phase.

Continue Reading »

Ah yes, my first attempt at a real article.  So here we go.    It’s any given Friday night.  You’re out with all your buddies and the drinks are really pouring in.  All of you are out late because (all of us don’t really go out late anymore) one of your buddies is in town and you all hadn’t seen him in a while so you know it’s gonna be a big night.

And of course, as the night winds down, and you’re not quite sure what to do after nearly closing out the bar, the term “nudy bar” comes into the mix.

First of all, strip clubs are always a bad idea, simply for the fact that they’re expensive as hell.   Don’t get me wrong, they are damned fun.  However, the other annoying thing about them is having to tell your lady friend where you went that evening.  Or do you tell at all?  That my friends is the question.

The answer?

Continue Reading »

As I watched Andrew Friedman give the eloquent “thank you” speech at the end of the ALCS I couldn’t help remember the fact that he used a paddle to scorch the back of my ass many many times back in the day.  Yes, Andrew Friedman was a big time hazer while at my beloved Tulane.

How do I know this?  He was a junior when I was a freshman.  And I don’t bring this up to whine or complain.  It’s just one of those weird cases.  Andrew was a good guy in school but yes, he loved to haze.  He loved to watch us squeal and he was always one of the big time yellers in the background.  And yes, he poured beer on my crotch when I was on the floor doing sit ups.

He loved to dip, be a redneck, and be one of those tough Southern Boys.  And rightfully so. Andrew went to Tulane on a baseball scholarship upon which he got injured.  So my guess is that he put that energy into frat life and making us Freshman miserable.   But I digress.

Andrew moved on, busted his ass on Wall Street and with a little luck, hit it big by landing a spot with the then Tampa Bay Devil Rays brass.  And in all honesty I have nothing against Andrew.

He’s done a terrific job as the Rays GM and I couldn’t be happier for him.  He was always a smart kid and clearly he’s shown he knows how to build a baseball team.  It’s just weird to see him up there, speaking so well as an adult, knowing that just 10 short years ago he was beating the crap out of me with a paddle.

Go Rays!

See?  Now that’s a normal photo

Anyone who’s uploaded a photo using the internet has probably heard of Flickr.  In fact I use it all the time for this site.   Much of my random term image searches are done using Flickr, and it’s probably the best photo sharing site out there along with Webshots.

Don’t get me wrong, Flickr is a fantastic site providing an excellent, free service.  However, one would think that when they’re on the homepage that the representative pictures on there would be a bit better.

Flickr uses about 20 pictures in their homepage rotation.  If you hit refresh enough you’ll probably see them all.  So I guess they got it right on around 18 of them.  However there are two that make zero sense to me.

Continue Reading »

I want to go on record in saying that most people who fall for infomercials deserve it.  And the reason I say this is that I believe most Americans are get rich quick people.   Rather than working hard for a living it’s much easier to work quick, easy, and make tons of money right?

Wrong.  Unfortunately that’s just not reality, and that’s just not how things get done.  And while I believe there are plenty of scams out there, there are a fair amount of these programs that actually do work if you read the fine print, which is why those success stories actually do happen.  They just don’t tell you it’s 1 person out of 100,000 people who sign, and it’s that one person busting their ass for years to make it happen.

However, whether it’s a true internet scam or a viable product that actually has some uses, certain people on TV Infomercials annoy the living hell out of me, regardless of their credibility.  And here are 6 worth mentioning.

Continue Reading »

Walt Frazier definitely paved the way for slickness in the NBA

I decided to pay homage to some of the better dressed guys that I’ve seen in the NBA over my years.

Some guys prance around in jeans and gold chains. While that is certainly their right, I’m pretty sure that if I were to create a league of my own, these are the guys I’d want representing me.

Continue Reading »