No wonder this guy hates the Phoenix Police

In what should send a frightening chill down the spine of every blogger, writer, journalist and First Amendment advocate in the United States, Phoenix police raided the home of a blogger who has been highly critical of the department. Jeff Pataky, who runs Bad Phoenix Cops, said the officers confiscated three computers, routers, modems, hard drives, memory cards and everything necessary to continue blogging.

I have a few responses to this one.  Certain types of bloggers are no different than any other journalist and when they say something that grabs the attention of a group, well, it could certainly piss them off.

Second of all, what the hell is a blogger defined as these days anyway?  Am I a blogger just because I write this site in first person?  Or would one consider this site to be an entertainment site sans the word “blog?”  Blogging used to be a form of Twitter but without the 140 character limit.  Blogging used to be constant personal updates.  It’s certainly not that way today and is a hell of a lot more commercial.  Too tough to really define.

Bottom line is that no matter what you do or say, if you’re going to attack a group, or say things that someone doesn’t want to hear (sorry all you Ashley Biden fans), then be prepared to get criticized.

I will say though, you probably shouldn’t have to prepare yourself to get your computer taken away because of some whiny police officers. Oh that reminds me of my third point…..  Phoenix Police sucks some major balls.

If any of you read my Ashley Biden story a while back it comes as no surprise that you’ve been reading about her recently.  Allegations have been forming of a video that contained the VP’s daughter snorting cocaine.

So given that my article about her past pot possession charge was written,  yesterday I received a call from the NY Post’s writer Dan Mangan.

Here are a few quotes Dan used that really disturbed me, and I shall elaborate on them.

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Samantha Knapp is a Local 6 news reporter who will go the extra mile to get the story first and more importantly, get it right!  While at WJCL in Savannah, Ga., Knapp developed a franchise for “Crimestoppers” with the help of local police and the Crimestoppers Bureau.”We did deep investigations into unsolved murders and helped breathe new life into supposedly cold cases,” says Knapp.Besides working in Savannah, Knapp has also reported for stations in Indianapolis, Providence, Hartford and most recently WEYI-TV in Flint, Mich.

You might be wondering why the hell I’m posting this woman.  Well first of all, she’s attractive.  Second of all, it’s my goal to find every single hot reporter out there, notify ESPN about her, and then contact the people at Playboy.

It’s a four step process.  I figure I can somehow collect the names of 100 reporters and get jobs for 5 of them at ESPN or any major network for that matter.  Secondly, this will get them the publicity they deserve.   Thirdly, after enough time they may succumb to a bikini shot or a sultry commercial.  And then finally one of them decides to pose for Playboy. It may take a few years but my experiment would be a success.

I think it’s well worth my time.

From time to time when a site as amazing and popular as this one is seen, there are always a few people who just might get pissed off.  I mean call me crazy but I just never knew that this site didn’t appeal to every single person on this planet.

But if you’re gonna try and reach the masses, you know you’re going to ruffle some feathers.  And with all the feathers I’ve ruffled I can tell you this:  I’m 100% sure that every person that’s ever submitted a nasty comment on this site has more than likely been a complete loser and has never, not once, staked their claim in this world or contributed anything meaningful to society.

That or they have to be ugly, and if not ugly, then wear really tight shirts, grease their hair back, have too many earrings and be from Staten Island, Brooklyn, or Queens.  Also use tons of commas in sentences that aren’t even complete.

But I just want to give props to what I think is the best comment I’ve received thus far:

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I recently read an article entitled “Why handsome men make bad husbands,” from Psychology today.

Handsome men on average make bad husbands. Men can maximize their reproductive success by pursuing one of two different strategies: Seek a long-term mate, stay with her, and invest in their joint offspring (the “dad” strategy); or seek a large number of short-term mates without investing in any of the resulting offspring (the “cad” strategy). All men may want to pursue the cad strategy; however, their choice of the mating strategy is constrained by female choice.  Men do not get to decide with whom to have sex; women do.

Essentially what this is saying is that the more a man enters the woman’s position of choice, the worse off the marriage becomes.  A handsome man is ultimately put in the hot girl’s position and therefore in a position of power and unrest for the female.

That’s if you read between the lines, which I’m an expert at doing.  However, let us look at it from a beneficial point of view.

Here are 5 reasons why handsome men make great husbands…at least for the superficial and chauvenist side of us.

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So yes, it’s less than four months from now and the impending chopping of my most private of parts will take place on a little island in South Carolina.  My little bride-to-be and I are going to exchange our vows (no we won’t actually, vows are lame) and I will officially become a eunuch.

Not that I’m unhappy about this in any way.  I look forward to never receiving head again and yielding to every single thing the little five footer tells me.  One thing I’m psyched about though, is our location for the wedding.

But man would you be surprised at some of the crappy places people get married at.  Here are five that really blow.

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I personally think that being a casting director has got to be one of the funnest jobs in history.  I imagine that once you get past the role of casting all the big stars, that the job becomes fun as all hell.

Think about it.  What if your movie has a bit part for a guy who’s supposed to look randomly funny?  Like the guy in “Half Baked” who worked in the store with Scarface when he says “f-you, f-you, f-you, you’re cool.”  The guy who he refers to as “you’re cool” was amazing.  I mean if your whole day is trying to find these weird people it’s gotta be fun no?

On the other hand, if you’re the one who’s cast for these roles, it has to suck to some extent doesn’t it?  I mean who wants to be cast as the child molester?  Not me.

For the record I am by no means saying it’s wrong of these people to take these roles.  There’s nothing wrong with earning a living.  I’m just saying it certainly blows to be typecasted this way.

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The only reason I use heterosexual male in my title here is because I’m referring to the typical reader of this site.  Most of you guys out there are between 18-40 years old, single, and heterosexual.   At least that’s what my demographics are saying.

So by no means is this any knock on homosexuals.  I have zero problem with that and have plenty of gay friends.  I just felt the need to write this article because boy have I met some square dudes in my day.

And for the life of me I simply can’t understand how unfunny some people can be.

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Of all the things you’d create a website for, this guy goes out and buys, in my opinion, a fantastic domain name.  It’s called My Wife Said No.   Just think of all the possibilities he could have had using this name.  Dude, I hope you’re reading this because my ideas are genius.

Instead of having a cool blog filled with funny stuff that his wife said no to, the guy focuses on the fact that his wife didn’t get him a Wii for Christmas?  Really?  Dude, you could have a post going up every single day saying stuff like “she didn’t take it in the butt last night” and have an entire account of the incident.  I’d read it.

He’ll I’d even read something along the lines of “My Wife didn’t let me leave her in-laws house until 4PM even though I said I really wanted to get out of there at 3.  Buddy, baby, boobie, get your act together and entertain us.

Who cares about the fact you didn’t get a video game console?  Clean it up loser.