You don’t need to be a damn Doctor to know that America’s filled with a bunch of fat people.

People can’t seem to get enough of McDonald’s for lunch, and Little John’s for dinner. If you’re looking for research, feel free to google it, ’cause we don’t plan on wasting your time.

What we do want to point out though, are the small advantages these people can have in society. It may totally suck not being able to workout for more than five minutes without hyperventilating, or go into a Big & Tall store and still not be able to fit into anything, but we’re here to tell you about some of the small things that fat people can appreciate.

That’s why if you’re pushing three bills, you shouldn’t feel so bad, because these are benefits you have over some skinny people.

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While it’s integral that each player on a team pulls his weight in order to accomplish the goal of a championship, we think it’s only common to understand that some positions are just a little bit more important than others.

So while there’s a number of different arguments that could be made for a certain position as the leader of a team, we’re giving you the definite list right here, so if you’re looking for stardom as a young athlete, choose to play one of these.

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Late last year we gave you the quintessential apps that every man should have on his smartphone.

After looking it over, we found one glaring weakness with that article’s advice—it didn’t include the dating app (or hooking-up app) Tinder.

Since we just found out about the thing a few months ago, we unfortunately didn’t discover its powers until recently.

Knowing that no one ever wants to get caught staring at total strangers in public just to score some ass, we’re giving you the best spots to pull it off in hopes of running your sexting game actually pays off, so get after it.

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As we’ve pretty much mentioned all day today, world soccer icon David Beckham has decided to hang up the boots at the end of this season.

While there’s no denying his impact on the sport of soccer, not every single athlete has the same success for the length of time he did.

That’s why we’re giving you some athletes who, though they’ve managed to last a long time in their sport, should just call it quits to make room for a younger player.

Sorry guys, your time has passed.

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By the title of this article, there’s no reason for you to even consider why any other candy ever created is better than Sour Patch Kids.

Personally, we can eat an entire bag in one sitting and not feel bad about ourselves one bit.

Whether you have or haven’t had the sour then sweet candy in awhile, here are some reasons why you really need to get on the train and realize why it’s the best candy ever created.

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As we all know, there can only be one champion in sports.

But just because we know that, doesn’t mean it always ends up being the team that we most think will lift a trophy at the end of a season.

So with the Thunder getting ousted in this year’s NBA playoffs by the Grizzlies, we’re giving you some other teams from this year that may have been favorites heading into the season, but disappointed us once the games actually started.

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In case you missed it, there has been an article going around the Internet that’s talking about 16 reasons why they city of Cleveland really isn’t that bad after all.

Typically the butt of plenty of jokes, the city that’s nestled against Lake Erie might have some nice perks, but as someone who grew up there, still frequently visits and continues to vow never to move back ever again, here are 16 real reasons why the city actually sucks.

Sorry to all of our friends and family who remain.

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While bored on our couch last week, we started flipping through the channels and discovered that ESPN’s “30 for 30: Bo Knows” was on.

As an absolute sucker for any of those sports documentaries, we decided to turn our attention away from the Heat’s rout of the Bulls to watch.

Having seen it before, we knew it was good, but this time we watched and thought to ourselves, “Holy sh*t. Bo Jackson was a beast.”

From that, we started wondering other athletes we were deprived of seeing more of, and these are six of them.

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While scouring the Internet early this morning, we came across one of the head-scratching? surprising? bizarre? stories we’ve ever seen.

Apparently the job networking site Linkedin doesn’t want prostitutes to be part of the fray any longer.

We get this (sort of), but considering the site actually had a skill listed as “prostitution,” whose fault is this to begin with?

But since you’ll no longer be able to go after your ideal lady through your profile, here are some reasons why you should be upset about it.

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Want to know what makes pro athletes so much better than you and me?

Besides the fact that they get paid millions of dollars to play a damn game, it’s that even when you think the fattest, most flabby looking ones don’t have an ounce of athleticism, they prove you wrong.

That’s why we’re listing the six athletes who may appear like they should be doing nothing but eating burgers, yet would absolutely beat you in most anything involving athleticism.

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