Scariest Elevator In the World Has a Shuffle Button

Elevator

One of my best friends, Caroline (we’ve been friends for 10 years and she’s kind of perfect), absolutely hates elevators. Sure, she takes them because they’re quick and convenient, but every time I’m in an elevator with her, I can feel the anxiety pulsating from her. It probably doesn’t help that I, and a couple of our other friends, will jump and down and shake the elevator just to freak her out. So when I saw the picture above, of an elevator with a “shuffle” button (aka the scariest elevator in the world), I immediately thought of her, and, honestly, if I ever found myself in this elevator, I think I’d be right there next to her, shaking scared.

What purpose could a “shuffle” button in an elevator actually possess? I mean, seriously? All I can think about is my iPod shuffling my songs on a playlist, and I certainly wouldn’t want that to happen to me if I was trapped in an elevator, going up or down in a building. When you hit “shuffle” does it just take you to a random floor? Does it essentially flip and coin and decide whether the elevator is going to go up or down? In the great, immortal words of Austin Powers, “What does it all mean, Basil?” 

Whether the “shuffle” button serves some greater purpose or not, I definitely think it would be a good idea for any and all elevators to either replace them or get rid of them. If they are actually needed for technicians to inspect elevators or something like that, that’s fine, but then just rename the button and its function so people don’t freak out.

And if these buttons are of absolutely no use at all, why keep them in the elevator? Unless they’re simply kept to torture people, like Caroline, as some kind of twisted, elaborate practical joke. Who would/could think of something like that? Like the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop (believe me, I’ve tried), the world may just never know.

Photo via imgur

Chris is a graduate of Saint Joseph's University in Philadelphia, where he majored in English and FIlm. He has been writing for TVOvermind and Uncoached for two years and has written about numerous different television shows and pop culture topics. Contact him through Twitter (@ckinger13)
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