Nov 05 2013
We may be from Tennessee, but we’re not redneck.
While watching TV the other day, we came across this new show on MTV called, “Big Tips Texas,” which features a bunch of fairly slutty, somewhat sexy bartenders from Texas.
As you’d imagine, the show encourages a ton of boozing, a lot of screaming and as much drama as possible to attract people to keep coming back to watch the trainwreck each week.
We may not quite be hooked quite yet, but seeing how these girls are some of the most redneck chicks we’ve ever seen in our lives, it’s something that adds to the fun.
It’s a little bit wussy to admit, but we’ve never shot a gun, never been ATV’ing, and definitely have never banged one of our relatives—though we do have this one second cousin who, well, that’s an entirely different story.
Since we don’t claim to be as country as these girls, we’re giving you some signs to help you determine if you’re a true redneck, or just someone who likes to say, “y’all” on occasion.
You Grew Up a Fat Kid
This one absolutely amazes us, but it’s as fool proof as a soda exploding after shaking it up. No matter where you go in the South, every single backcountry badass grew up a fat kid. Hell, it’s probably the main reason he doesn’t take crap from anyone now.
Don’t believe us? Just take a look at every picture you can find of rednecks, and there’s a fat little kid somewhere around.
Those kids grow up to become badass football and baseball players, so it’s almost like God’s way of apologizing for the awful childhood they had.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff