Jan 24 2013
When Tony and LaDonna Land discovered naked carnival worker Gregory Matthew Bruni on their roof, the night had just begun. Bruni, 21, allegedly assaulted Tony Land, trashed the couple’s North Fort Myers Home, and then defecated and masturbated inside the house, WTSP reports. The Lands told police they were in their bedroom at around 7 p.m. Monday when they heard a noise that sounded like thunder, according to Fox 4 Now. Tony went outside and says he saw Bruni on top of the roof, completely naked. Bruni allegedly jumped down on top of Land, ABC 7 reported, then knocked him over by hitting him in the shoulder. [Click Here to Continue Reading]
And there he is – about three weeks into the new year we have our first contestant for the most deranged criminal of the year. How does he qualify? Well, starting out naked on the roof gets you in the conversation. The fact he worked at a carnival is an excellent credential to have. Then the fusion of defecation and masturbation locks you up. Just remember that – defecation and masturbation are a surefire cocktail to get you in the news.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff