. Things We Hope We're Doing at 99 Years Old |

Jan 16 2013

Things We’d Rather Be Doing at 99 Than Teaching

Published by at 9:00 am under Editorial

While watching the news yesterday, we actually saw a story about a 99-year-old woman who celebrated her birthday with the entire school yesterday.

Besides thinking to ourselves, “What in the hell?” a quick thought of, “What if she just happened to role over and croke” sadly popped into our minds.

Could you imagine the scars some of those kids would have to live with knowing their teacher nicknamed “Grandma” (for obvious reasons) fell face-first flat into her cake?

It’d be like that scene in The Great Outdoors when all the kids sit on the old dudes lap… weird.

Anyway, besides being shell-shocked by seeing she’s still even alive at 99, we starting thinking about things we’d much rather be doing than teaching at that age. These are just a few of them.

Eating Entirely Unhealthy

People tell you all the time, “Lay off the sweets” and read books like “Eat This, Not That,” but when you’re 99-years-old, who f*cking cares what you put into your body?

If you’ve been lucky enough to live through an entirely messed-up society with wars and disease and poverty, along with your own health problems, why not just eat McDonald’s breakfast every day, and an entire frozen pizza for dinner?





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