Jan 07 2013
Not sure if you’ve heard this or not, but supposedly some Mom made an 18-point agreement with her son concerning his etiquette and usage of an iPhone he got for Christmas.
While some people are praising the parents for taking action and trying to keep their son more social than just using his phone, we want to commend them for giving us an idea that hopefully every guy can submit to their crushes—an 18-point rulebook for dating!
We all know having a “better half” can be a challenge at times, so present this little contract before things get serious, and always have it as a reference if she should ever blow her sh*t.
1. There will be times when we’d rather spend time with our buddies than with you. Please don’t take it as a knock on how much we care about you. We just need conversations about boobs without getting scolded every once in awhile.
2. When we tell you we love you, unless you see blatant evidence otherwise, take us at our word.
3. If we happen to mention how kids are cool as hell, and we can’t wait to be a Dad, don’t think that means you should start popping holes in all of our condoms.
4. If you don’t really like sports, you really don’t need to watch them with us. Most of the time you just piss us off by asking questions. We’d love to explain football to you, just not during the game.
5. There’s no need for you to clean our house if my roommates and I decide to throw a party. It will get done, and it won’t be half-ass.
6. There may be times we talk extremely dirty to you during sex. We can tell you that we absolutely don’t think you’re a “bitch,” but it feels good to feel like a porn star every once in awhile.
7. You don’t need to be best friends with anyone in our family, but at least try. They might be crazy, and just because our Uncle Phil talks about how much he loves getting wasted and dropping $250 each time he’s at a strip club in front of his wife, doesn’t mean you should judge or lecture us about it.
8. We know you have pets, so while we enjoy helping out every once in awhile, there’s a reason we don’t have them. It’s because we don’t want the responsibility of one.
9. You will never call us a nickname in public that questions our manhood or makes other people ask, “WTF?”
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