Oct 10 2012
If I were take a guess at who is suffering the most with all of these movie remakes they’re putting out these days I would venture to say that it’s guys like me (in their 30ss) and maybe a generation above me who really miss the cinema of the 70s, 80s, and even early 90s when you had all those Sylvester Stallone flicks (like Demolition Man or The Specialist).
It’s just a shame that there is remake after remake based on what I consider movie classics. The latest that’s getting hyped? Robocop. I just don’t see it. Hell the new costume looks like a Batman suit. I don’t care who’s making the movie. It shouldn’t be done, period.
But if you’re a guy like me and you insist on watching one of these remake, here are five rules to follow….
1. Have zero expectations and a very open mind
Seriously. You have expect that you’re going to see a piece of crap. You have to know in your heart that you’ll like the original better and be complaining. In fact you’re better off just trying to see it as an entirely new movie. Think it’ll suck and it might be tolerable.
2. Wait until they are on television
There’s just no way I’m spending my good hard earned cash on a movie that I’m pretty sure will let me down. I’d rather be let down in my own home than blow dough on popcorn and a ticket.
3. Try not to have watched the first one
Here’s where you’re really better off. Chances are this is unlikely to happen but if you get lucky, give it a try. That’s why I’m somewhat jealous of teens these days. Half of them never even heard of the originals and that’s probably a good thing.
4. If you read the books you’re in even more trouble
Most people are disappointed in movies that follow books. I’m guessing it’s way worse with remakes.
5. Don’t even bother
If you haven’t met the above four criteria then don’t ever watch one of these movies….ever.
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