Oct 04 2012
No matter the occasion, alcohol’s always there as a crutch. Whether it’s to get loose for a date, calm the nerves before a big speech, or simply because there’s nothing better to do in a day. It lends a hand when you’ve had a bad day, and the only thing on is the Presidential Debate, or when you realize that tomorrow’s your girlfriend’s birthday, and you’ve already made plans to host the boys for Thursday Night Football.
There used to be that show called “8 Simple Rules,” which never really answered the show’s question. We might not be answering the question of this posts’ title, but at least we’re giving it a good shot. Since we love to drink, and we admit that we’re fun as hell when drunk, here are the eight simple reasons why people throw down.
To Put Up With Your Family
Just please take a look at this picture, and tell us how the hell you’d deal with this sober? There’s no way you’d be able to do it, so when your parents call and tell you they’re surprising you with a visit, you best make that mad dash to the liquor store for some much needed fifth.
To Deal With Your Drunker Friends
It’s not a cool feeling, but if you’re in a group of people, it’s bound to happen. Everyone’s ripping shots, and there’s that one dude that just needs to stand out. It can be to grab the attention of chicks, that he’s really that drunk, or worse, because he’s just actually that annoying. It really doesn’t matter what the reason is, all that matters is that you’ve got to drink fast to get out of babysitting duty.
To Mingle With the Opposite Sex
It’s basic math. You aren’t social without alcohol, but while a little more than tipsy, you just can’t stay off the dance floor. Seems about right to us, especially since girls are the reason you’re out there to begin with. Thank your booze for what happens after that.
To Crash a Wedding
Sure, you might attempt it sober, but would it nearly be as fun? Hell no! Just remember to get your story straight before heading out there though. Come on too strong in the beginning, and you won’t even get through directions to the reception. Be too quiet, and it’ll be a waste of time. Let everyone play catch-up, talk with both families, and sneak out of there with some bridesmaids.
To Get Away with Dumb Sh*t
When there’s a tat on your skin that you realize won’t be washing off, while it’s never easy to accept it, it’s a ton easier to understand – and explain to people – when you have an epic drunk story to go along with it. Plus, we’re guessing it didn’t nearly hurt as much.
To Eat Taco Bell
Don’t count us among the people who only chow on fourth meal when drunk, but for most folks, the only time they hit those chalupa’s is when the bars have kicked them out, and they just want the party to keep going. Nothing’s wrong with that though, since Taco Bell is by far the greatest thing to eat after a long night of boozing. Hope you bought air freshener’s for the morning!
To Motivate Yourself to Workout, Because You, “Drank Too Much Last Night”
This is the absolute worst drinker out there, but you can often find them sipping their drinks, until they realize they’re a little drunker than they thought. Instead of sitting around and recovering the entire next day though, they’ll get up early, run six miles, and go have a big breakfast to refuel. Yes, this will all take place before you’re even out of bed.
To Fulfill Every Hour of the Day
Name a hobby that makes you feel as good as drinking? While we’re sure you have one, there’s no way it’s nearly as much fun. When you’re bored out of your mind, call on your old friends Jack Daniels and Buddy Light, because they’ll always show you a good time.
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