. How To Throw a Killer Party |

Sep 28 2012

How to Throw the Perfect House Party

Published by at 9:00 am under Editorial

Everyone knows the Fall is the perfect time to party. Kids are back on campus, weekends are filled with football, and you can actually throw a party now without everyone sweating their asses off. If you’re one of the lucky few that happens to live around a college campus, congratulations, you know never graduated, and you should be celebrated.

As most of us “adults” wilt away into responsible jobs, taking our weekends to relax and forget the work week, there’s some of us that still love to throw a bomb-ass party. If you’re like us who can’t except being a grown-up quite yet, then read up, and get that house party scheduled for this weekend. Hopefully you don’t still live with your parents, but hey, if you do, these tips might be even more important!


If you live in an established neighborhood with families and crap, it’s always tricky throwing a rager. Not only can you have parents and/or kids to worry about, but the damn neighbors are always on watch, and the cops know what’s going on. Your biggest responsibility is planning something big, so do the research, ask the important questions, and keep it on the DL. The last thing you want to have happen is for a party to be busted before it even starts.

Don’t Give a Damn

Like most parties, you can’t worry about a damn thing. The point’s for everyone to have a good time, so why think about some crap that happened two years ago after high school graduation? Go balls to the wall and everyone will want to comeback for the encore presentation – whenever that actually is. If someone breaks that egg your Mom loves so much, just roll with it.

Get Your Affairs in Order

One of the best things about being drunk is (the forgone conclusion of) hooking-up. We’re not just talking about your ass though pal. No one wants to see you sloppily make out with your girlfriend in a corner all night, so make sure there’s enough goods to go around for the other chicks and dicks. Drunk, attractive people like hanging out with each other, so just remember, that if you supply it, they will come.

Don’t Sell Yourself Short

When asking yourself how much alcohol you need, you should know by now to always aim high. It might suck to see only 20 people show up when you’re planning (and secretly hoping for 50), but less people means more alcohol for everyone else. See, basic math. So go big or don’t even bother planning a party.

Hide the Evidence

So you’re hungover, spent the night absolutely going to town on that chick from the gym, and just want to lay around all day. Don’t be that dumbass who gets caught because your buddy left a couple brews somewhere it shouldn’t be. You killed it last night, so would you really risk potentially blowing it out of the water next time because you got lazy the day after?

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