Sep 07 2012
Thank God I’m still about five years away from my 20th high school reunion but I’ve been thinking about it lately. I mean when you think about it, Facebook has pretty much accomplished all that you’d really want to get out of a high school reunion hasn’t it? Except it’s better because you don’t have to talk to all of these people. Plus if you want you can see them everyday instead of once every 20 years.
Still though, it’s kind of a “blast from the past” event that I think most people should attend at least once. However, I think you should temper your expectations. It’s not like you’ll find your long lost love or hook up with the popular chick you never were able to back then (who’s fat now).
And if you do decide to go, be aware for these six types of people….
The ones with something to prove or to settle scores
Believe me, there are lots of these folks out there. These are the people that have been dying to go to their high school reunions. People who can’t wait to tell you what they do for a living or how much money they make. People you never really cared about back then and certainly won’t now because of how boastful they are. These people live for these events. They then go home lonely and sad. Either that or they’re the folks who are dying to tell you off if you were mean to them 20 years ago.
Full Time Mom who is obsessed with being a mom
I’ve seen this before and I’m sure I’ll see it again. There are women out there who do nothing but talk about their kids. Their entire lives are their children. I’m not saying that’s a bad thing but I am saying that if all you have in the world is kids and talking about kids, what about when they’re self sufficient and you don’t have shit to do that day? What do you talk about then? It’s just not that healthy.
Popular turned loser hanging on to his old life
This is the Matt Dillon character in Beautiful Girls. It’s the guy who “isn’t the quarterback anymore” but wants to be. It’s the dude that thought his life would turn out great but in the end he peaked in high school and didn’t amount to squat. He’ll probably make fun of you like in the old days and try to beef himself up. Hell he might even get into a fight with someone. But all in all he’s a tool now.
The ones who aren’t there
I pay attention to these people because usually they’re the most successful in present day.
The “I couldn’t even recognize you” people
These are the people who either got really fat or really skinny and you simply don’t recognize them. To me, these are the people you attend these things for in the first place.
The ones who brings a spouse
What in God’s name is the point of bringing your spouse to one of these things? They don’t know anyone and they’ll be bored as hell. Plus it might piss them off hearing stories about you they never knew or wanted to know. I mean unless you’re bringing a trophy wife, it’s better to go alone.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff