Sep 06 2012
Having a girlfriend can be a beautiful thing. You’ve always got someone to cuddle with – okay, we’re guessing it’s more than just that. She seems to always want to make you dinner. And of course, she’s there to take care of you when you’ve had just a little bit too much to drink, and find yourself passing out on the couch every weekend.
Thanks to you always being there for her, she just can’t help but brag about you to all her little friends. But before you go off thinking you’re the biggest stud around, we wanted to remind you that just because she talks about you, doesn’t mean that what’s she’s saying is necessarily the truth.
So sit back and see the lies your chick just can’t help but tell everyone about, and decide for yourself if it’s a good or bad thing.
He’s The Best I’ve Ever Had
Yeah, right. We’re sure she’s never said this to anyone before. Just because you’ve been dating for two months, and seem to roll around in the sack every day, probably doesn’t replace the 10+ years of sexual activity she’s had prior to ever letting you slip that thing inside her man. It’s a nice gesture, and you should always hope it’s true, but don’t hold your breath. But imagine how you’d react if she didn’t say it!
Oh, He’s Just In-Between Jobs
If this isn’t the nicest way of telling someone you’re unemployed, we don’t know what is. Sure, you might actually be looking for something, but go ahead and admit that you really like waking-up a couple hours after she rolls out of the house, and you can spend some “downtime” to catch up on some TV, and start building the next great dynasty on Madden.
His Sisters Are Really Nice
No way, no how, is this true. Unlike dudes who meet their girlfriend’s brothers and find a weird bromancy thing going on, girls don’t have that kind of thing happen. Chicks are really particular with who they spill gossip to, so don’t think for a second you’ll find your lady friend talking about the good, bad, and ugly with any of your family members – not that you’d want them to anyway. There’s always going to be that underlying bitchy feeling no matter how your relationship turns out.
I Really Love Him
Not until you’ve slipped that little rock on her finger should you believe this one. There’s a reason almost nobody ends up marrying the first person they date, or why so many relationships end up so ugly, and it’s because there’s no real defense against someone waking-up one day thinking, “Damnit, I just really want to be single today.” Sure, it’s shallow and probably a little bit morally wrong, but it doesn’t mean it won’t happen. So while she may love you now, just wait till she’s walking out on you next week because you decided the strip club was more important than your two-week anniversary. Hope the lapper was worth it!
I Don’t Mind Watching Sports With Him
Girls like sports, but that doesn’t mean they like watching them with you. Personally, our girlfriend impresses us with some of the info she spews out while watching a game, and there’s no doubt she likes drinking beer and screaming at the TV with us. We just have a hard time thinking she likes it more than wasting an entire weekend doing it.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff