Aug 22 2012
As we’re writing this, we’ve got our girlfriend’s little bichon puppy Kiwi sitting right on us. It may not be the manliest of dogs, but the fact can’t be ignored the damn thing grabs people’s attention when walking her around town.
It got us thinking why we didn’t do this earlier? Not sell out and get the girliest dog around, but just getting a dog period. We know this isn’t rocket science or anything new, guy’s have been using these furry little beasts for centuries as the ultimate icebreaker, but now that we can see it first hand, we get it a little bit more.
Here are a couple reasons you should consider heading down to wherever the hell you buy dogs, and scoop yourself one.
They Get All the Ladies
We mentioned it above how a dog can score you some serious ass. Here’s a little test, go down to your local shelter and ask if you can foster a puppy they have. Now take that little pup to a park on a sunny day and see how the girls flock. It’s like sharks that smell blood, they just can’t seem to stay away. Give your new bud a ton of treats for his help.
They’ll Hang With You
There’s been a ton of movie scenes and TV shows where a dog’s been the most down to earth thing anyone could ever be around. Just imagine being able to kick it with your dog on the reg, lounging around on the couch together, fetching beers for you, or just enjoying one’s company?
They Provide Comedic Relief
Brian from Family Guy’s a pretty funny dog, but just because he talks about poop and writes novels doesn’t mean he’s the only talented furball out there. While some dogs hate when people try to put sh*t on their heads, most of them pretty much let humans do anything they want. We’ve all seen the pictures of dogs dressed up in embarrassing garb, you think that’s because they want to? No, it’s so we can laugh at them.
They Listen to Your Problems
We treat dogs like people. We carry conversations with them, and tell them about how they’re such a good boy, and we love them so much. Look, the damn thing can’t understand a word we’re saying, but that doesn’t prohibit us from getting a freeÂ venting session when we’ve had a bad day or our drunk.
They’re Just Cooler Than You
Why the hell do dogs get rewarded for being good? It’s not like we were trained that way, right? We have a tough time believing our parents would give us a piece of beef jerky or a Sour Patch kid overtime we decided to crap in the toilet growing up – though it would be pretty cool. There’s a reason why Joe Cool’s spokesperson a dog, because they know how to skateboard, dress up, and do things we could only imagine.
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