. Looking back at an Elementary School Teacher Crush |

Aug 09 2012

Your Elementary School Teacher Crush Partied Just Like You

Published by at 7:20 am under Editorial

We’ve all had them.   Every single one of us has had a crush on a teacher at some point in our lives.   The type I’m going to be discussing today is the elementary school teacher crush.   As I look back on my health teacher Ms. Desanctis back in 6th grade I never really considered who she was as a person.

After all I was 12 years old and really didn’t understand adults.  I just assumed she was as pure as snow.   That she was as sweet as sugar.   That her beauty transcended anything dirty or nasty in the world.   But what I didn’t realize is that this woman went to college and was single in her late 20s.

Looking back now I realize she clearly wasn’t as innocent as I thought.  It’s amazing what age does to a person.   And now that I look back there are a few things that I realize must have been true about my health teacher….

Chances are they got drunk every weekend

What do you guys do in your late 20s and early 30s being single?  You go out to bars and you most likely get wasted.   No, not everyone is like this but most people certainly are.   So yeah, that teacher you loved so much was more than likely hung over on a few Mondays which is why they weren’t so chippy that day.   You just never thought of that when you were a kid did you…

Chances are they were pretty loose

Let’s face it, male or female teachers had to have gone to college at some point right?  And most of college is drinking and sex right?  It would stand to reason then that if these people were still single that they definitely whored themselves out more than not.   That innocent looking teacher you loved so much was most likely a slut or a male bimbo.

Chances are they were on drugs at least a few times while teaching

It’s just a fact of life.   Teachers are getting younger and younger these days and I guarantee you that the teachers who acted weird on some days were definitely smoking something.  That are drunk or on cocaine.  It’s entirely conceivable that this was the case.   Think back to these times and you’ll probably have a eureka moment.

Chances are they could not stand most of us

Or at least a few of us.   They may have acted nice and all but you know there are kids you hate as an adult.  It’s not different for teachers.

Chances are they hated their jobs

You never realized that as much as you were waiting for that 3pm bell to ring, you’re teachers were probably waiting for it more than you.

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