. Reasons to Avoid Drunk Hookups |

Aug 03 2012

5 Reasons to Avoid Drunk Hookups

Published by at 9:00 am under Editorial

Take it from us, we’ve been that drunk dude before. The one that gets hammered, gets horny, and then gets extremely embarrassed with the slag we just took home. We’re warning you now, while you’re still sober/hungover, and before you put on the beer goggles with all that liquid courage; just say no.

Don’t believe us? Here’s a number of reasons why saying no to those too-drunk girls is always the way to go! Because while it’s great to add another notch to your belt, if it’s a belt you’ll never want to wear again, it’s not worth it.

They’ll Forget Something


This could be a number of different things. It can stem from something as simple as, “What’d we do last night?” to her leaving purse underneath your desk. Trust us, you don’t want to be known as the dude who stole a chick’s purse, so you’ll have to talk to them again – sober – no matter how awkwardly bad the sex was. Don’t face the music bro, and just avoid it altogether.

They’ll Tell Everyone

You may think you’re Casanova, but unless you’re pulling in Kate Upton every night, you’ll want her to stay hush hush. And since you’re not doing that, you’ll probably want to forget her as soon as she’s gone, and have the ability to look through her profile pictures (and more importantly, her unedited tagged photos). Too bad she didn’t get the memo, and has already posted everything on her sorority list-serve, and you’ve just gotten a new nickname, maybe something like “Whale Rider.”

You Aren’t Getting That Jacket Back

Let’s face it, even if you aren’t a gentlemen, you’ll be forced to be one. It’ll be cold, it’ll (fingers-crossed) be early, and she’ll be dressed in… very little. Say goodbye to your vintage Chicago Bulls jacket that you love so much, and get ready for it to sit around this random chick’s house until the next dude she bangs comes and ganks it. That’s her trophy now, and you’ll never see it again.

Sloppy Doesn’t Mean Hot

Just cause she’s willing, doesn’t mean you should want it. Have some pride dude. There’s a reason she was bouncing around the bar, ripping shots of tequila with every stranger she came across, and decided to wear a shirt she knew would have a “wardrobe malfunction.” You can blame yourself in the morning, or you can prevent it from happening while you still have a chance. Do you really want to hear about all her daddy issues afterwards anyways?

Reputation, Bro

In the days of college, everybody who’s anybody knows each other, and by senior year, there’s slim pickings. There should be a damn code about not hooking-up with someone your friend already has – if there isn’t already an unwritten one. Don’t waste a hook up on a C, when tomorrow night you could probably score yourself at least a solid B. Don’t do something just to do it, so just go watch porn to blow off some steam tonight, while saving yourself for tomorrow.

Even More Uncoachable Stuff

One response so far



Uncoached Sites

Celebrity Toob

Celebrity Gossip, Pictures, Videos, Net Worth & Bios


TV News, Reviews, Recaps, and Spoilers