Aug 01 2012
We’ve all been there plenty of times before: Notice a hot chick, sip our brew, and tell our friends all about her, (while reminding ourselves), just how smokin’ she is. Problem is, she throws those sexy tight jeans on one leg at a time like the other girls looking your way.
Don’t waste a night out going HAM with your dudes, while worrying about the dime piece you “let slip away.” Why you ask? Here are all the reasons you need.
As if you don’t already know, not all smokeshows are created equal. How is this possible? If you’ve ever watched a Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show, you’d know exactly what that means. Some chicks just have a certain charisma about them that you should notice. Others, well… they’re a dime a dozen, so don’t waste your time trying to get anything from ‘em.
She Can’t Hold Her Own Amongst Friends
It’s miserable when you take someone out and realize she’s like talking to a damn wall. Throw in your buddies, and it’s multiplied by about 100. When any of you finally do make her laugh, that combo of eyes to smile is relentless, but if she doesn’t get your humor, that’ll be few and far between.
If She’s By Herself, There’s Probably Good Reason
A girl living it up amongst friends is what you want, but a girl standing with drink in hand? That’s a warning sign. If she’s so hot, why does she look like a first grader throwing a tantrum at a toy store? Needless to say, there’s probably a pretty good reason the hottest girl in the bar is standing alone, while people drink and dance around her.
There’s Something Seriously Wrong With Her
We all know the name Lorena Bobbitt, and with good reason – chick was whack. Sure Bobbitt wasn’t much to stare at, but that doesn’t mean she’s not as crazy as the wind in a hurricane. You need to ask yourself, “Is it really worth losing my penis to score an armpiece?” If you answered yes, then maybe you two do deserve each other.
She’s All Religious
Whoa! Don’t get us wrong, we love the Big Guy, (or whatever you believe in), but when you see a perfect 10, it’s a complete waste if she won’t do anything except hold your hand. We’re not looking for a Jenna Jameson, but we’d like to think that if someone has a Ferrari, they wouldn’t just sit around staring at it in the garage.
High Maintenance Is An Understatement
If you have loot, you probably won’t after dating her. If it’s fame, you’ll become old news. If she actually falls for you, then congrats, she’ll get bored within a month. Be prepared to be late to everything so your girl can get ready in order to live up to the hype of looking like a runway model.
She Poops Like Everyone Else
If you can’t find any other reason to stop thinking about that girl, think this, and we guarantee you’ll be just fine leaving the bar alone.
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