Jul 30 2012
Whether you’re popping in a flick or headed to the theatre, there’s always those people that think they’re the only ones around. Fact is, you’re probably not sitting alone, so use some manners.
It’s great to be the life of the party, but if the party decides to stay in and watch a movie that night, then enjoy it. You don’t want to be the dude that annoys everyone all the time!
No shocker here. There really isn’t anything worse than trying to listen to a movie, and hearing some annoying-ass person behind you talk about their problems, or laugh about inside jokes. When it goes on for 90 minutes, it’s like a gnat that just doesn’t stop swarming around your ear… Newsflash: You paid $8 to watch a movie, not sit around a table talking about your problems… we’re guessing it’s really not that important anyway.
So you’re going to see the new Danny McBride movie, and know it’ll be filled with jokes every couple minutes, but please don’t be that guy who over-laughs at everything. We’re not telling you to hold it in, so if it’s funny, chuckle, but if you do that fake laugh thing because you know everyone else is really laughing, you deserve to get your ass handed to you. It’s pretty typical for any 13-year-old boy to pull this off.
Quoting the Lines
We really want to watch Clooney act, not listen to you spew the lines because you saw the movie already. If we tell you you’re good will you stop? Or will it take more than that? Either way, we want to see how the movie ends up without hearing you say, “this part’s hilarious,” or “No Way!”
This is more for the dude who goes to redbox with his girl, lets her decide what you’re watching, and is uninterested within the first 20 minutes. If this happens, it can go one of two ways. 1) She ends up thinking it’s a snoozer too, and she calls it a night by taking you to the sack, or 2) You pass out, she gets really into it, and you ruin it for her by snoring the entire time she’s watching it.
It’s only American to get yourself a big tub of popcorn and soda when at a theatre, but if you go for anything but those two choices, beware that you may be annoying the hell out of everyone around you. We’re a Sour Patch Kids guy ourselves, but even we know not to grab a box of those – the plastic wrapping will only piss everyone off.
If you’re sniffling the entire movie, there’s no way anyone can enjoy what’s going on – and yes, we just used the word sniffling. Chances are everyone’s thinking about what day they’ll end up showing the symptoms that you just displayed for the entire theatre to see. Thanks, bro!
Slurping Your Drink
Okay dude, we get it, you want every last drop of that Cherry Coke, but guess what, the added sound effect isn’t really doing it for us. We’d advise you to either go spend another $7 on a 22-ouncer, or be patient with the drink next time you go to a movie.
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