Jul 27 2012
The London Olympics actually kickoff tonight with the opening ceremony. So make sure you tune into your TV and see the most awkward compilation of athletes together, wearing ridiculous outfits, and mixing millionaires with amateurs.
Although some people look at the Olympics as a break in sports, we’ll probably get caught up in all the drama every single day like we did four years ago. That means taking two hour lunches and streaming events on our computer.
Whether you love or hate ‘em, here’s what you should be paying attention to in London, 2012.
The New “Dream Team”
Everyone’s making a big deal about this year’s men’s basketball team compared to the ’92 Barcelona one that boasted dudes like MJ, Magic, and Larry Bird. While we’re pretty much convinced this year’s squad’s all but wrapped-up the Gold (arrogant Americans), the current dudes know they won’t reach historical status unless they embarrass fools like the original Dream Team did.
It’s actually been four years since Marijuana Mike stole eight golds in Beijing? That’s pretty crazy to think about considering he’s a damn swimmer, but still finds himself everywhere! After “limiting” himself to just seven events in this year’s games, we’re watching to see if he can stage off some new blood in the pool, and capture an insane 15 golds in two Olympics. If he doesn’t get the munchies, we bet he does it.
It’s true the Olympics can be a little exhausting – after all, it is 17 days worth of sports shoved down your throat – but in-between all the alleged doping scandals and security threats, we’ll appreciate the games for all the stuff they leave us remembering years from now. With all sports, you can’t write or predict some of the things that happen, so we’ll appreciate the stories that come from these games.
Usually women’s soccer doesn’t exactly fancy us, but after seeing them fall short in last year’s Women’s World Cup, we’re kind of on the bandwagon. Okay, let’s be honest, we may watch about 15 minutes of their entire touney, but you can bet our Google image search will be filled with Alex Morgan pics while we’re doing it. That should at least count for something.
In a study done last year, measuring the country with the biggest size, the U.K. was appropriately represented by averaging a solid C. Now we admit that we’re definitely tit guys, but we don’t want anything that’ll be sinking to the ground while a chick walks. We’ll take a C and a perfect body any day, so keep your eyes on the stands to see some of the nicest sets in the world! If not just native Brits, you’ve got fans from all over the world, so check out the dags on those Russian girls!
Even More Uncoachable Stuff