Unless you like to sit around and do nothing all day, you’re most likely interested in getting yourself to one of the many different festivals going on around you this summer. Our favorite? Anything that has to do with beer or bourbon sampling. No matter how big the party is, the sole purpose of going to a festival is to have fun – and sometimes get way too drunk to remember it.

Since each festival is unique in its own way, the best we can do is show off the five people that you definitely meet when you’re at one. After seeing some of these people, you may want to rethink ever going to another one, even if it is “World Renowned.”

Old People

It’s only natural that old people show up everywhere you seem to be. It doesn’t matter if it’s the local pub or the big game, they always seem to find out where the fun’s going on. A festival is absolutely no different. They will be there, they will drink, and those old bones will probably outlast your sorry ass! You should take pointers from them if they’re still going as hard as you are, even though they are twice your age.

Perverts

There isn’t a better feeding ground for these guys than a summer festival. You’ll see them trying to fit in by wearing something a little bit too revealing for their own good, while always having multiple brews in their hand, and trying to get around either a big group of people, or an unassuming loner. When you get one of these folks around alcohol and boobs, something bad’s bound to happen. Do we really need to remind you to avoid them at all costs? Didn’t think so…

Hot Chicks

They’re the staple of any event, wearing next to nothing, and dancing their sexy little asses off. Every dude wishes they could hook-up with one of these chicks. Problem is, most of ‘em are married or hired models who are getting it in with someone that has backstage passes or knows the organizer of the event. The good thing is, it’s free to look at them – which we all know isn’t a bad consolation prize.

Weirdos

You’ll find them absolutely sideways drunk, slurring whatever crazy sh*t they have on their mind. Are they fun? They can be. But get a little too close to them, and you’ll have both a clinger who thinks you’re their best friend, or a hookup that you’ll regret. You had enough of those in college, so don’t be that guy.

Townies

These are the people you really want to drink with because they’ll hook you up with free drinks, tell you exactly where to go, and intro you to the people to make it the most memorable (and forgettable) night of your entire life. They’ve been coming to the event since the inaugural year, and probably have kids or relatives working the damn thing. Play nice with these types, and you may just find yourself as the Grand Marshal in the parade somehow!