Jul 10 2012
Have you ever done something that afterwards you realize was one of the dumbest things you ever did?Â Â You sit back and think to yourself “why in the hell did I just do that?”Â You might not bring a jacket somewhere on a cold day.Â Or you might step in a puddle that you actually saw coming.
Then there are things that are of greater consequence.Â Â And I’ve got a true story for you.Â Â This is the dumbest thing I ever did that nearly got me killed…..
Back in 2001 I was delivering pizza and during this time I remember not having a phone on me.Â Â It was brutal.Â It was one of those rush delivery times too.Â I literally had around 5 pizza pies in my car and had to deliver them to five different addresses.Â It was horrible.Â Â I was of course in a neighborhood I did not know and sure enough it was getting dark out so seeing signs on roads was nearly impossible at this point.Â Â I was frantic.Â I was freaked out.Â Â I was pissed.Â Â And I was rolling in my old school 300ZX!Â Â Here I am doing twists and turns all over the place not knowing what the hell is going on.
So what do I do?Â I decide that since I’m kind of in the vicinity of the house I need to get to that I’ll knock on someone’s door and ask them if they know the street I’m looking for.Â Â I had a shirt with the logo of the pizza place on me so it’s not like I’d have been that scary a character.Â Â So here I am driving around a beautiful neighborhood looking for a house with the light on.Â Sure enough I come across a house with the lights on.Â Â Only this house was under construction and I only saw a handyman truck.
I approached the door anyway.Â Â The door, by the way, was wide open.Â I rang the bell and called inside “hello!”Â No one answered.Â Â Here’s where I got stupid.Â In my frantic state I eyed a telephone about 40 or so feet inside the house.Â It was right on a wall where the kitchen was being built.Â Â Stupid me, what do I do?Â I go inside the house.Â Â Now, when I tell people this story that’s all I did.Â But the real story is that I actually took a look around the house first.Â Â But back to the main story.Â Â I pick up the phone and dial the pizza place I work for.
I ask my boss for directions and he asks where I’m calling from.Â Â I tell him some random house.Â Â As soon as he starts telling me where to go, three guys walk into the house.Â Â I swear to God the middle guy looks like Vincent Pastore.Â Â The other two were pretty big dudes.Â Â The middle guy says “What the f**k are you doing in my house?”Â Â He repeats that statement around five times.Â I say “hey man, sorry for coming in here but I’m a pizza guy and I’m lost.Â Could you help me?”Â He says “I’m gonna f*cking kill you.Â Are you robbing me?Â Â Are you the same guy that tried robbing me last month?”Â Turns out he was robbed a month prior.
I keep telling him who I am.Â Â He rushes over and grabs the phone and says “who the hell is this?” He then proceeds to talk to my boss.Â Â They go back and forth and eventually he says “I’m gonna kill this kid.”Â Â My boss says “what are you talking about, you’re not gonna kill the kid.”Â He says “oh no?”Â Takes the phone and clocks me in the head with it.Â I fall to the ground.Â Get right up and start pleading my case that I’m a delivery guy.Â Â He then says to the other two guys, “get my gun I’m gonna kill this kid.”
They drag me outside and a gun is obtained.Â Â One of them sees my car, sees the pizza and tells my main guy, “he man, I think this kid really is a pizza guy.”Â Â So I said “of course I am!Â that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you!”Â Â Long story short he asks me a million times if I’m a pizza guy.Â I say yes.Â Â He takes my wallet.Â Â Takes my license and tells me to get the hell out of there.Â Â Â I get into my car and see blood all over my face that came from my skull.Â I had no idea I was bleeding.Â Â There was also blood all over my shirt.
I go back to the pizza place and talk to my boss who in the time I was driving back gets a call.Â Â Turns out the guy whose house I went to was the relative of some people you probably don’t want to mess with.Â Â At present time I still have a dent in my skull that will always remind me of the dumbest thing I ever did.
By the way, I did get my license back but thankfully never saw that dude again.
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