Jul 04 2012
For us drinkers, we know that treating each day like a holiday is essential when properly trying to party. There shouldn’t be any holding back once the bottles pop, and everyone’s sitting back trying to have a good time. And since today actually is a holiday – and one of the best to get drunk – we thought we’d give you some great excuses to get even more messed-up!
While we encourage you to drink, we must remind you that this mentality shouldn’t be saved for just special occasions. No, this “balls to the wall” type of thing should be celebrated each and every weekend. After all, getting through a hellish five-day work week of dealing with clients and coworkers should be enough to party with booze and strippers.
There’s no better time to drink than when you’re awake, so why waste a minute of the day? Usually, most of your friends will be awake too, so get after it early. Hopefully, these friends will be wearing bikinis. Let’s face it, drinking during the day means you’ll have even more time to get wasted and make worse decisions. Those decisions may involve the friends wearing bikinis. See how it comes full circle?
After a long day of doing… whatever the hell you do during the fourth, most people can get pretty stressed out about what to do at night. There’s no better way to relieve all the day’s problems than hitting the bars and drinking your ass into oblivion. We prefer pre-gaming with a quick 40, taking it to the face, and watching some fireworks, but that’s just us.
Prohibition is Over
If you’re an American, you’ll realize it is your patriotic duty to celebrate this momentous occasion. Today’s supposed to be all about the red, white and blue – and yes, we’re talking about the shot. Can you imagine a world without alcohol? Yeah, either can we. So do it right all day long.
You’re Not a Virgin Anymore
It’s okay, we all have those emotional drunk nights. Whether you lost it yesterday, or seven years ago, there’s no reason to fret and ponder if he/she really likes you. Have a brew and talk it out, but remember to avoid the clubs. The last thing you want anyone to see is you sloppily grinding on the dance floor with some random chick.
You’re Still a Virgin
If this is the case, than drinking’s pretty much all you’ve got going. It’s time to suck it up and empty that bank account for a ‘stute if you need to. If you have a little more dignity, slam a couple shots and find a chick to make your move on. There’s nothing that will loosen your ass up more than some tequila.
Because You Can
Drinking is awesome. If you can get your hands on some alchy, don’t hold back. You’ll think of some reason to say, “Sorry For Partying,” right? Set-off your own fireworks, push your friend in the pool, and act like a complete idiot. The Mayan’s screwed us over by making today on a Wednesday, so it’s almost expected to roll in hungover to work tomorrow.
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