Jul 02 2012
With everyone having the smartest phone on the market, isn’t it time we actually got smart with how to use it? Just because you have the capability to snap pics and record videos every five seconds doesn’t actually mean you necessarily have to.
Since people tend to do a lot of dumb things with their phones these days, we’re giving you some of the things you should probably just chill out on before taking that phone out of your pocket. It may be something you really want to do, but whether it costs you a cool $400 to replace your current phone, or any remaining dignity you have, it’s time to rethink using it.
Standing in Front of the Mirror
In the history of camera phones, how’s this worked out so far? We really don’t understand the obsession with snapping a quick dick pic after jumping out of the shower. Isn’t it enough to look at yourself naked? Do you really want to capture it to either send to the opposite sex or keep yourself? It’s weird man, and to put it bluntly, if it didn’t work out for a Hall of Fame Quarterback, than you have no shot in hell in pulling it off!
Talking While Pissing
You’re just asking for it to slip off the side of your shoulder and into the toilet water below you – and a serious ass beating if in public. If you haven’t learned that anything you need to say can wait till after you’re done holding your junk, than you don’t deserve to have a smart phone. Go get yourself one of those pay-by-the-month flip phones or something.
Recording a Bar Fight
We really hope your stupidity to capture someone getting his face pummeled in actually leads to you somehow getting involved in the little skirmish that you’re trying to film. What are you really going to do with that footage? Watch it over and over? Come on bro, just put it down. If you do get hit, it’s what you deserve for trying to become a TMZ correspondent on your free time, dick.
Tweeting or Updating Facebook
Just like Herm Edwards says to athletes, think before you tweet man. While we admit it’s fun as hell to tweet when annihilated drunk, it doesn’t mean it’s smart. That’s especially true when your tweets are lamer than the dude sitting in the corner by himself at the bar. Everyone wants to be heard, except we really don’t want to hear what you have to say!
Choose Your Ring Wisely
You’re a grown-ass man, cuz. You really have “Getting’ Jiggy Wit It” as your ring right now? What happens when you forget to turn that crap off before the meeting with your boss? Bet he’ll love to hear Will Smith getting down. And don’t be the guy who has that annoying “bing” sound everyone else with an iPhone has. It only confuses people when they hear it sitting in a public place.
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