Jun 21 2012
Now that the weather’s getting warmer and pools are opening, we know everyone will be out looking to enjoy a little fun in the sun. Less work, more of the good life. And since we don’t recommend wearing a bathing suit 24/7, than you should at least wear the most minimal coverage possible, right? What better way to do that than in a bro tank? It might not be suitable to wear during your sister’s wedding, but if you plan on partying all day and enjoying the entire day (and night) to bro out, there’s nothing better.
Don’t believe us? Here are five reasons a bro tank should be your shirt of choice every day this summer, and why you need to get one if you don’t already rock it. You may get some dirty looks here and there, but just think of those as jealousy.
Summer is prime tanning time, and what better way to get maximum skin a golden brown than a bro tank? Part classy, but mostly sassy, a bro tank will minimize visible farmer tans, while making sure you get a solid base coat on your shoulders. It goes well with drinking, banging, and partying! Which should be the only things you really give a damn about when it’s 90 degrees out.
Show Off the Guns
Don’t hide your buff arms under some stupid sleeves! Make sure that people know how often you GTL, especially the G and the T. Bring the gun show to the public – previews free of charge. If you don’t have any, then at the very least go lift in your favorite tank, bro.
They Go Great With Some Stones
Very few articles of clothing actually go with the beer you’re drinking. We mean, wearing a tie doesn’t exactly scream Natty Light! If you’re planning on getting a little wasted face, why not look your best doing it… while caring less about spilling some of it on yourself? When you’re wearing a tank, it really doesn’t matter what you do, everyone pretty much knows what your main objective for the day is – raging!
Let Everyone Know You’re a Douchebag
A bro tank is one of the few ways you can actually communicate your personality to someone without actually speaking. Let everybody know, on first sight, that you party hard, you pull chicks, and you could care absolutely less about what they think of you. It’s the one article of clothing that you should prefer someone stereotyping your ass.
Rep Your Brand
Bro tanks are an excellent way to let everyone know your lifestyle – whether it’s socially acceptable or not. So what if you’re 30-years-old and enjoy playing hooky with your friends to party on the beach all day. Why not show the fact that you party, and are good at it, so everyone can judge you for the asshole drunk that you really are!?! Let the suckers who don’t enjoy the finer things in life suffer through being miserable.
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