Jun 11 2012
Do you remember in college when intramural sports was like the thing to do? It gave you a reason to get a bunch of your bros together, usually get hammered before, during, and especially after the game, while letting you get a little exercise to avoid the dreaded Frosh 15.
Problem is, once you actually showed up to the field, you realized there were a bunch of different types of dudes you’d be either dominating or getting dominated by. There’s always guys who take it a bit too seriously, but everyone’s hope is they grow out of the phase once they’re mid to late-20′s. Problem is, some don’t, which is why you need to be careful when signing-up for a public sports league that you don’t fall into one of these categories.
The Way Too Intense Guy
You clearly know who this is. It’s the guy who was “all-state” in high school, and needs to prove to everyone why he’s a complete badass with the ball in his hands. He makes sure to wear all the accessories Nike can produce, and literally let’s his night get ruined by the outcome of a flag being pulled off his waste, or giving up a bomb while pitching in a softball league. He tends to be a major dick, but admit it, he’s probably the most like all of your friends.
The I’m Here to Get Drunk Guy
He let’s everyone know he loves partying by wearing his “College” sweatshirt even when the temp calls for 70 degrees. You’ll see him drunk or hungover 75% of the time, and notice he goes all out and tries his hardest, but he’s usually too drunk to fully succeed. A positive for him is that he tends to be the life of the party, so he’ll talk everyone down should there be a little too much trash talking, reminding everyone that a beer can solve all problems.
The Old Guy
Poor dude. He swears he used to have it back in the day, but just can’t hack it anymore. He only got the invite to play because your team needed another guy to make it an even $20 buy-in for everyone. He’s usually a coworker of the team captain, and though he takes it really seriously, tends to just enjoy the time away from his wife on a Thursday night. Those orange slices and postgame snacks, you better believe he picked ‘em up on his way to the field.
The Full of Excuses Guy
He knows absolutely every statistic about any player in the majors, but he has no idea how to hit, catch, or how to stay in front of a ground ball. He’s the nicest guy you’ll ever meet, and will be fun to be around at the bar after the games; well, till he gets a little too drunk and starts rambling about how he just “couldn’t see the ball today,” or how he “almost made that diving catch.” Look man, we get it, you just aren’t any good, so give it a rest.
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