Jun 08 2012
This year marked the 8th consecutive year that my Memorial Day weekend was removed from my life. The reason being is that I’m sure for spite, my niece’s dance company puts on its annual recital during this time. Don’t get me wrong. It’s very important to her and I love to support my niece. I just don’t understand why they would have to have it on Memorial Day Weekend. Oh that’s right. The theater is cheaper to rent at that time.
Anyway, if you’re familiar with these things, they last over 5 hours. Basically it’s a bunch of girls from around age 3 to 17 performing dance numbers in costume. It’s a really big deal in my town and I’m sure in others across the country. What scares me though, is the level of “sexiness” in these things.
I mean the songs they dance to, the lyrics. Half these girls have no idea what’s going on. Anyway, I wanted to share with you the types of people you’ll find at these things….
Perverted Men Who Love the Gyrating
Thankfully there are very few of these guys at these events. However, every time you see the groups of girls over 15 perform, you’ll know who these pervs are. They stare at the stage and don’t take their eyes off. Face it, this event is five hours long and it’s tough to pay attention to the whole thing. But you’ll know the nasty guys when their eyes are glued to the stage.
Psychotic Over-The-Top Mothers
It’s not as bad as these little girl psycho beauty pageants across the country but it can be close. There are moms who get tickets at like 2am and sleep outside for these events. And there are moms who know more about what goes on at these things than they do about their husbands. It’s insane.
Fathers Who Are Freaking Out Tremendously
As a father to be I have to say I’m quite glad I’m having a son. I definitely would like to have a daughter too some day. However, when you go to one of these events and see girls who a 10 years old shaking their little butts and doing humping motions, it’s a little disturbing. And then when you see the look on fathers faces throughout the crowd, you really don’t want to have a daughter.
Relatives Who Can’t Stand to Be There
Like I said before. I love my niece and I enjoy watching her perform. But frankly when there are around 75 routines and she’s in about 10, it’s kind of boring the rest of the time. And it’s not just me. If you look around you’ll see tons of people texting, men aching for box scores of games, and even mothers getting a little antsy. Five hours is a long time to sit in one place.
The Old People who are Asleep
As I said these things usually last over 5 hours. Rarely if ever will you see someone with white hair and wrinkles make it through the entire show. You’re always going to get your nappers and even some people snoring from time to time. It’s inevitable.
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