May 25 2012
I recently read a good article on expectant fathers and it kind of hit home to me. Now that I’m in the club of fathers to be I can’t help but be in a fair amount of fear from time to time. I know that it’s normal and all of that. However I still have my concerns and figured a good way to address them is to simply spill them out here.
I would imagine some of the late 20s and early 30s dudes that read this site can understand where I’m coming from here. So I wanted to talk about six of my biggest fears about fatherhood…..
My Child’s Health
This is clearly the number one and it trumps everything else. As many hopes and dreams I have about my unborn child, by far the biggest concern is for his health. As they say, “I don’t care what sex my child is, as long as the baby is healthy.” I couldn’t agree more. Every single time I go to the doctor I’m a wreck. It’s really all I care about. But hopefully all of that will be fine. And it then once the child is born that I really get to start worrying.
My Relationship to My Wife
Number two on this list is my relationship to my wife. As far as I’m concerned, assuming you have a nice and healthy baby there’s really only two places you can go with your relationship to your spouse. A child will either bring you closer or drive you apart. Arguments will inevitably happen on parenting style, etc etc but ultimately you hope your child brings you closer as a couple. Clearly though, there’s the fear that the worst can happen. Then again I think a child is the ultimate test of one’s relationship and will tell you if you were supposed to be with this person in the first place. Then again, what do I know?
My Financial Situation
Every male on the planet worries their ass off about taking care of their kids financially. And I’m 100% no different. Insurance, diapers, food, clothes, you name it. And then college? Ugh! Get a job kid will ya? Seriously though, you have to make plenty of sacrifices to have a kid and money is one of them.
My Own Paternal Abilities
Will I be a good father? I haven’t a clue. Will I avoid some of the mistakes my parents made with me? Will I do some of the good things they did? I just can’t answer any of these questions. I mean I think I’ll be a good dad. Hell I know I’ll be a good dad. The question is, will it be enough? I hope so.
The “My Entire Life is Over” Adjustment
For selfish reasons although completely justified and fair, this one is my biggest fear for me personally. Losing sleep is not going to sit well with me. Having to play kids music in the car is not going to still well with me. Not getting to watch sports is going to piss me off. Not being able to spend time with my wife will suck. Oh and there’s about 7000 other things I’m not mentioning here. Am I really prepared for the entire life as I know now to end? Yikes.
Facing The Possibility of Adversity
What I mean here is things like “what if my child is a homosexual?” What if my child isn’t cool enough? What if he has no friends? What if he hates me? There are so many little things that can go wrong that you simply don’t want to face. I try to block it out but it’s impossible. I know that there’s no such thing as “normal” but I’d like to be as close to whatever that is as possible.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff