. The Things America Should Have |

May 21 2012

Things We Don’t Have in America, But Really Should

Published by at 9:00 am under Editorial

If you read us regularly, than you know we love to talk about the perks of traveling. There’s very few things better than catching a flight across the pond to party in London, or on the beach in Barcelona.

Truth of the matter though, while those country’s don’t have everything we’re used to, they do offer things that make us rethink ever wanting to comeback? We admit we can’t just drop our craving for a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee, or chowing a greasy cheeseburger while driving on the right side of road, but since we try to adapt as best we can when we’re somewhere foreign, we give you some things on the other side of the Atlantic that the States just can’t seem to pick up on. Sorry soccer fans, as much as we love the sport, our football can be measured in touchdowns, not goals.

A Cool Accent

Just like the different cities in England, the different parts of the U.S. all have different accents. We hear the Southern Drawl, ChicAHgo, Lawnguyland, and Bahhston accents. Now tell us, are any one of these accents cool? Besides Matt Damon and Leonardo DiCaprio in The Departed, there’s nothing exactly cool about any of the American accents. British accents on the other hand, well, they’re cool. A Brit can say, “I kill puppies in my sleep,” and you’ll fall to your knees. It must be the way they cut out the “R” at the end of a word, or actually pronounce their “T’s.” Either way, a chick with an accent is a definite keeper!

The Queen

We’re all for democracy, but we’re pretty sure this goes without saying that royalty is just plain dope. The Queen makes no real political decisions, she just gets to wear a crown, have her face on their dollar dollar bills, all while living in a palace. The White House is cool, but don’t tell us you’ve never thought, “How cool would it be to be King?”

Hard Cider

We’re not talking about hot apple cider to warm the belly when the New England leaves start to change color. We’re talking about Magner’s, Bulmer’s, or Strongbow – deliciously-concocted, perfectly-brewed, hard-as-rock cider. To those who haven’t yet acquired the bitter taste of beer, don’t want to spend $10 on a fancy cocktail, or maybe just like apples more than hops, cider is the drink for you. It even comes in pear, strawberry-lime, and blackcurrant! No offense, we love ourselves a marg, but we just feel a little more badass with a Magner’s in our hand at the bar.

Pippa Middleton

This is a no-brainer! Chick knows how to get down, and on-top of all the nonstop partying she does, her sister just happens to be the Queen in waiting. There’s a lot of weird stuff that goes around about the myth of Pippa, but let’s just say we’d rather hear about her shenanigans going on in the good ol’ U.S. of A, rather than hearing from those crazy Brit tabloids.

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One response so far

  • shane

    Why the fuck would you want pippa middleton in america…… Shes a fucking wretch….

    Just because a bunch of papers and magazines decided she was good looking doesnt make it so




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