May 18 2012
What’s with everyone these days? Thanks to the dependency on our cell phones, social awkwardness is at an all-time high! Forget the fact that no one likes to look you in the eyes anymore, and would rather text you to let you know how they feel, but it’s like people can’t just leave their phones off for more than an hour without freaking out. Let’s get this straight – you aren’t that important!
This all occurred to us yesterday while at the gym, doing a sculpt class. There we are, sweating our butts off, out of breath, and feeling like complete crap. About halfway through, a chick behind us started texting right in the middle of class. First, props for having the ability to text and high knees, that’s tough. But second, is that really necessary? Does the person on the other line have to know what you’re doing that second, or do you think you could probably hold off another 20 minutes?
Regardless, it got us thinking about the worst times your phone can go off. More importantly, these are the times when your phone does ring that you just ignore it ’cause you’re busy with other stuff.
Well, if this one isn’t obvious, we don’t know what is? If you’ve worked all night wasting time and energy trying to get a chick to your place, the last thing you want to have happen is talk to whoever’s trying to call you while banging out. Chances are it’s the chick you had as back-up in case the blonde slag you’re currently making moan turned your sorry ass down. This is a one-time gig dude, don’t waste it with a drunk heart to heart now!
While Peeing in Public
While we admit talking on the phone while crapping isn’t such a mad move, if you’re taking a leak, you just shouldn’t touch that “Talk” button. The last thing anyone wants to see is a guy struggling to hold the phone in-between his ear and shoulder, while shaking off, and screaming over the other dudes in a crowded bar bathroom. Chances are about 90% that phone slides out from under your ear and straight into the pisser.
On a First Date
Look dude, we get that you’ve just met up with a girl that looked like a 9 in her match pics, only to turn out being a 3 when finally meeting her, but don’t start planning your after-party while with her. At least treat her with respect and give her the time of day she deserves. If your phone happens to ring, don’t pull the fake phone call bull that happens in flicks, she’ll read right through it. You may not care, but karma’s a b*tch, so you wouldn’t want that to comeback and bite you!
While Paying at the Grocery Store
If there’s one place that really pisses everyone off to answer a call, it’s right here. You not only slow down the process of paying, holding-up everyone behind you, but you also annoy the hell out of the cashier while they try to ask you questions. If you want to be the biggest dickhead on the block, go ahead and pick-up, but don’t expect anyone to help carry your bags to your car for you if you do.
An Airport Runway
We don’t even risk this one. As soon as we start boarding that plane, we just shut the damn thing off. No one around you cares about how tired you are for taking the 6am flight, being rerouted and delayed, and now can’t wait to just get home. The fact that you’re screaming because your head’s all clogged up from your earlier flights just makes it a million times worse. Do the right things and give yourself a break from talking for the entire flight.
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