May 07 2012
If youâ€™re a guy, you know it totally sucks when you catch yourself daydreaming a little bit you probably shouldn’t, and before you know it, have yourself a full-fledged rager. Our secret to get it down? Think of random numbers, pencils, and desks. If that doesnâ€™t work, the olâ€™ Texas Belt Buckle is always a solid option, but even that’s pretty risky and doesn’t always work.
Sure, girls have a ton of problems that happen with their bods, but most of the time, itâ€™s nowhere near as embarrassing – plus, our “things” have a mind of their own, so we can’t really prep for it.
Since we only hope itâ€™s not your turn to present to the group after a little too much perverted thoughts, hereâ€™s a couple reasons to avoid the subject to begin with. You definitely don’t want to be known as that guy…
You Can Never Seem to Get it Down
We gave you a couple suggestions above to get rid of the thing, but short of cutting it off (never an option), thereâ€™s not an easy solution. They come at the most inopportune times, and make you feel like youâ€™ve had one for hours â€“ but donâ€™t contact your Doctor, just try really, really hard (no pun intended) to think of something horrifying. We typically get one when we’re nervous. Is that weird? Probably.
A Girl Catches You With One
We once knew a kid who crapped his pants while running the mile in middle school. That poor kid heard about it all the way through graduating high school, and since weâ€™re complete jerks, itâ€™s actually the first thing we think about when we hear his name. Like poop-kid, once a chick catches you touching any part of your shaft in a public place, itâ€™s never a simple, â€œI was readjusting,â€ yet always a, â€œHe was completely pleasuring himself to the hot chickâ€™s giant ones.â€
You Canâ€™t â€œTake Care of Itâ€
Weâ€™ve been on record as saying both â€œRespect my boner,â€ and to â€œNever waste a boner.â€ Believing to practice what we preach, weâ€™d typically enjoy a boner better than the next person. For about all the reasons you can think of, being somewhere in public and “doing the deed” donâ€™t go hand in hand. Is that rule assumed or is it actually written somewhere? Either way, it sucks you can’t quickly fix it.
Youâ€™re In Sweatpants or Mesh Shorts
Rolling into class or work hungover, wreaking of alcohol and sex from the night before is a rite of passage for every guy. Once youâ€™ve done it, you realize all those hours you spent getting ready in high school were a complete waste. However, as a gentlemen, the worst thing that can possibly happen is when â€œthat little guyâ€ starts rubbing the soft interior, gets a little too comfortable, and starts moving around. Everythingâ€™s visible, so thereâ€™s no chance in hell youâ€™re covering it up.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff