May 01 2012
I swear to God it took me a while to come up with these but amazingly enough there are actually times when being in traffic isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Granted I could probably think of at least 1000 reasons why being in traffic completely sucks, but that wouldn’t be fun.
Why not go for the groin here and actually make people feel decent when they’re stuck behind a pile of cars?
Here are five scenarios in which being stuck in traffic is a good thing….
When the Reason for the Traffic is Legitimate
9 times out of 10 you’ll be complete annoyed when you actually find out the reason for the traffic you are in. If you’re in a major city, it’s just gridlock and is completely annoying. If you’re on a highway, 99% of the time it’s rubbernecking from an accident that totally sucks and is worthless to gawk at. The bottom line is that most times traffic seems pointless to us. And usually it us. But there are times when traffic is actually beneficial to your safety and in those times you should be pretty thankful that the cars aren’t moving.
If you are Actually Running Too Early
One of my biggest pet peeves is if I’m super early to something. I don’t mind being 5 to 10 minutes early for anything but when it’s like 20 minutes and I know I look like an idiot there aren’t too many things that can slow me down. Sure I’ll drive slower but then I look like the assbag slow driver guy. When I’m super early and the traffic on the road kicks in I’m actually grateful.
When You’re Going Somewhere for the First Time
I hate it when I’m trying to find a location but I can’t see street signs. And then I feel like a jackass when I slow down and cars start honking me because I’m “that guy.” You know, the guy who is lost and who’s car looks like an idiot slowing down, swerving, speeding up, etc etc. It’s times like these that traffic can come in handy so you don’t look like a dick trying to find a street address.
If a Really Good Song Comes On and You’re Close to your Destination
I know this is probably a poor one but come on. What if you hadn’t heard the song in like 10 years and you’re just pulling up to your destination? A little bit of traffic can come in handy.
To Identify License Plate Numbers of People Talking on Cell Phones
Seriously, how often do people really get in trouble for talking on their cell phones? Pretty much never. Reason being is that there’s no one there to catch them. If you want to get someone in trouble then there’s no better time than when you’re in big time traffic. Take down that license plate, call the cops, and see if you can get them arrested.
Even More Uncoachable Stuff